It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (2024)

by Jesse Lyn Stoner | 24 comments

Without Clear Values, You Are Probably Losing Business

Leaders vs. Managers: The Real Answer to What's Better

It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (1)How many times have you heard, “It’s better to give than receive?” It’s so ingrained in our culture, we don’t even question it.

If you are in a leadership role, chances are you believe this wholeheartedly. Which means you also probably believe you should

always be competent,

never make mistakes,

and always be strong.

And likely you believe you should only receive when you have something to give in exchange.

One problem with this attitude is that when you are in a situation where you don’t have a choice and must receive, you are likely to feel

…humiliated

…incompetent

…stupid

because it challenges your self-image.

It is easier to give than to receive, but not necessarily better. Allowing others to help you is a sign of strength, not weakness.

9 reasons it’s good to receive

  1. It reminds you that you’re not in charge.
  2. It keeps you humble.
  3. You allow others the opportunity to feel the pleasure of giving.
  4. You get to experience gratitude.
  5. You develop a realistic self-image.
  6. You create a space for others to shine.
  7. You begin to understand what strength really is.
  8. You become a more well-rounded person.
  9. Your relationships become richer.

It is also good to give, especially when you are not looking for something in exchange. That is the true spirit of generosity.

But helping others when they can help themselves is NOT an act of generosity. It takes away their power, opportunity for growth, and keeps them dependent.

What’s important is knowing when to give and when to receive.

There’s a time to give and a time to receive. When it’s your time to receive, just say, “Thank you.” And allow yourself to feel the precious gift of gratitude that naturally arises.

Note: A version of this post originally appeared at The Leadership Freak Blog December 2011.

Without Clear Values, You Are Probably Losing Business

Leaders vs. Managers: The Real Answer to What's Better

  1. It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (2)

    Steve Borekon May 28, 2012 at 6:52 am

    I’ve always struggled with receiving. I’m a giver.

    Though #3 has changed the feelings I’ll have the next time someone does something for me.

    Thanks.

    Reply

  2. It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (4)

    Cebile Mbokazion May 28, 2012 at 3:58 pm

    Powerful message, thank you. it works in business and in life as general. Such proverbs “better to give than to recieve” has instilled a culture that make people to reject the gosbel of grace, the good news that they are forgiven, that Jesus freely gave up his life for us.For us is just to recieve that gift. But it is hard for most people to just recieve this gift, they often think that there must be an exchange of some sort.

    God Bless you for highliting this; better to give than to recieve but not necessarily better!
    Brilliant,
    Cebile

    Reply

    • It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (5)

      Jesse Lyn Stoneron May 28, 2012 at 10:46 pm

      Thanks for your kind words and for taking the time to share your thoughts here, Cebile.

      Reply

  3. It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (6)

    Thabo Hermanuson May 28, 2012 at 4:13 pm

    I think Steve is in a league of many. I am still learning to receive. It is funny because I know the feeling I enjoy having from having the privilege to be able to give, yet I don’t allow others the room to have the same experience by letting them do the same for me. I am getting better at it, but I do believe I can be better at it (receiving).

    Reply

    • It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (7)

      Jesse Lyn Stoneron May 28, 2012 at 10:45 pm

      Glad to hear you’re working on it, Thabo. Feeling uncomfortable when on the receiving end is such a pervasive attitude that seems to transcend gender and nationality. Keep practicing, because it’s like developing any new skill or muscle. It feels uncomfortable at first, but the more we practice, the easier it gets. And the reward is worth the effort.

      Reply

  4. It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (8)

    Mahmoodon May 29, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    But helping others when they can help themselves is NOT an act of generosity. It takes away their power, opportunity for growth, and keeps them dependent.

    You read my mind

    Thank you

    Reply

  5. It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (10)

    Helen Antebion May 29, 2012 at 10:05 pm

    Jesse, thanks for this wisdom. I have been noticing recently the increase in various books and blogs about the power of giving and the notion has made me uncomfortable as it feels forced and insincere; it’s become a marketing strategy. Giving and receiving work for me when they are acts of sincerity and generosity, without obligation, simply about kindness and sharing, which means we need to be vulnerable. I am currently experimenting with asking for help and sharing my challenges with those I would not have previously, and so far so good, although I suspect I’ve a lot of practice ahead of me:)

    Reply

    See Also
    The Psychology of Gift Giving

    • It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (11)

      Jesse Lyn Stoneron May 30, 2012 at 10:42 am

      Hi Helen, Thanks for sharing your insight. I think the issue is when giving becomes transactional, we start tallying up who owes and how much. My own experience is that when I am open to receiving, help often arises from unexpected places. I also appreciate your pointing out the important connection with vulnerability. Here’s an interesting thought to contemplate: real strength allows us to be vulnerable.

      Reply

      • It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (12)

        Anaon December 10, 2021 at 4:20 pm

        “Help often arises from unexpected places.”

        I was always the helper, the know it all…the one who had it all down like James Brown. Like him, I spent a night in County. Short of the details, my former spouse could have ruined me and he didn’t. I saw how my life could have spiraled. From that day forward, I see people in a different way…even the ones who seem like they have life figured out.

      • It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (13)

        Jesse Lyn Stoneron December 13, 2021 at 10:56 am

        That was a wake up call! Thank you for sharing your learnings.

  6. It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (14)

    Alex Dailon May 30, 2012 at 12:02 am

    Often when I don’t want help it is a pride issue. Pride does not help with leadership as it makes a person blind to the value in others.

    Reply

    • It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (15)

      Jesse Lyn Stoneron May 30, 2012 at 10:35 am

      Well said, Alex! It’s helpful to recognize when our pride is getting in the way because it causes all kinds of problems by making us think we are the center of the universe.

      Reply

  7. It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (16)

    Terry Whitakeron May 30, 2012 at 10:40 am

    This is a powerful and insightful article. Thank you.

    Reply

    • It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (17)

      Jesse Lyn Stoneron May 30, 2012 at 10:44 am

      Glad it was helpful, Terry. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

      Reply

  8. It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (18)

    Wendy Masonon May 31, 2012 at 7:15 am

    An inspiring post Jesse – thank you. I’m working on being able to receive graciously. As a leader, having the humility in strength to receive from the team is a gift in itself to them.

    Reply

    • It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (19)

      Jesse Lyn Stoneron June 9, 2012 at 6:57 pm

      Lovely, Wendy. Thanks for sharing here!

      Reply

  9. It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (20)

    fay kandarianon July 4, 2012 at 7:21 am

    You say this so well – thanks for the lovely reminder.

    Reply

  10. It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (21)

    Lowell Nerenbergon May 13, 2013 at 7:37 pm

    Jesse, you referenced this older (yet timeless) post in one I read today, and I wanted to share something I learned along the way.
    I always got a charge out of making a positive difference or contribution to another person. Years back I realized and declared that that is actually my life’s purpose. Later on I came to believe that if we drill down deep enough, others come to realize that is their purpose too – or at the least they like how it feels.

    Then, one day it ocurred to me that when I allow others to make a contribution to me, they feel good about having done that. Especially when I thank them or acknowledge them. Said another way, my allowing others to contribute to me is also a contribution to them! Now I try to be mindful of giving others that opportunity. And everyone wins.

    Reply

    • It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (22)

      Jesse Lyn Stoneron May 13, 2013 at 11:01 pm

      Well said, Lowell. I started to laugh as I imagined a large group of people who all believed it was their purpose to give and therefore had no one to give to. I imagined them chasing each other around trying to give, maybe tossing it back and forth. And then I realized that is what actually happens in real life… not so obviously and dramatically.. but so often people give to each other without understanding what the other person really wants or needs. I think the key is understanding the nuance of what is needed in each situation. As you point out, sometimes receiving IS giving. Thanks for adding to the conversation!

      Reply

      • It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (23)

        Lowell Nerenbergon May 14, 2013 at 8:55 am

        I agree: what the other person really needs, what would be supportive right then and there – is key.

        The scene you imagine is pretty funny, too. And now that you created it, I’m going for living in that context: Everyone wants to contribute. Feels good.

  11. It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (24)

    Chery Gegelmanon December 22, 2013 at 5:23 am

    VERY Thought provoking post Jesse. Thank you!!

    Reply

    • It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (25)

      Jesse Lyn Stoneron December 22, 2013 at 11:33 am

      So glad you enjoyed it, Chery. I imagine you’re having a lot of opportunity to experience the joys of giving and receiving in your current travels. Wishing you the best. ~Jesse

      Reply

Submit a Comment

It’s Easier to Give Than to Receive, But Not Necessarily Better (2024)
Top Articles
2023-2024 Tax Brackets and Federal Income Tax Rates - NerdWallet
What is another word for well-deserved? | Well-deserved Synonyms - WordHippo Thesaurus
5 cheapest payroll services of 2024
Best Nanny Payroll Service (2024 Rankings)
I Believe In Bigfoot Funny Small Area Rug | CafePress
OUTDOORS: Weekly fishing report, June 4
3747 Royal Palm Avenue, Unit 3747, Miami Beach, FL 33140 | Compass
The Royal Palm, Miami-South Beach - Cherished Wedding Venues
Moon Phase Today: 2024 Moon Phase Calendar
Moon phase today - Current Moon
How to Order Latter-day Saint Garments and Temple Clothing
Sams Gas Price Today
Latest Posts
Bodies
How To Revise For English Literature A-Level? Tips By A* Students
Article information

Author: Ms. Lucile Johns

Last Updated:

Views: 6259

Rating: 4 / 5 (61 voted)

Reviews: 92% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Ms. Lucile Johns

Birthday: 1999-11-16

Address: Suite 237 56046 Walsh Coves, West Enid, VT 46557

Phone: +59115435987187

Job: Education Supervisor

Hobby: Genealogy, Stone skipping, Skydiving, Nordic skating, Couponing, Coloring, Gardening

Introduction: My name is Ms. Lucile Johns, I am a successful, friendly, friendly, homely, adventurous, handsome, delightful person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.