Why it may be better to give than to receive this Valentine's Day (2024)

Smooches and snuggles may make us feel warm and fuzzy, but they can also be good medicine, says University of Arizona researcher Kory Floyd.

Floyd, a professor of communication and psychology, has spent his career studying how affectionate communication – through words, actions and behaviors – affects health and well-being.

It probably comes as no surprise that higher levels of affection have been linked to greater relationship satisfaction. But affectionate communication also seems to benefit physical wellness.

In a research analysis published in the journal Communication Monographs, Floyd and his colleagues analyzed several studies about affection and found that affectionate communication is consistently associated with more positive health outcomes, especially when it comes to cardiovascular health.

He also found that showing affection seems to have an even greater benefit than receiving it.

Q: You've found that affectionate communication benefits cardiovascular health even more than mental health. Why might that be?

A: It's hard to say why cardiovascular health shows a bigger benefit than mental health. Both forms of health are related to stress, and our work has found that sharing affectionate communication with loved ones helps the body modulate its stress response so that stressful events don't become too overwhelming. We see that benefit in people's mental well-being, and we also see it to a slightly higher degree in their cardiovascular health.

Q: What are some mental health benefits tied to affectionate communication?

A: Affectionate communication is associated with a wide range of mental health outcomes. For instance, people who are highly affectionate experience fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety, they report less stress and less loneliness, they are less likely to have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder or a mood disorder, and they are even less likely to experience nightmares.

Q: You've found that expressing affection is more beneficial for one's health than being on the receiving end. Why do you think that is?

A: It's worth pointing out that giving and receiving affection are highly correlated. When we give someone a hug or kiss, we essentially receive a hug or kiss in return. I think what we have found here is that there is a benefit to being a highly affectionate person. Not everyone is highly affectionate, but those who are experience a range of advantages in terms of their mental health, their physical health and their relational health. For instance, we have found that giving someone affection is one of the most efficient ways of reducing a stress response and returning the body to its resting state.

Q: It seems like some people are naturally more affectionate than others. Do we know why that is? And can people train themselves to be more affectionate?

A: As with many characteristics, it appears to be a mix of genetic and environmental effects. The tendency to be affectionate is somewhat heritable, meaning we inherit that tendency from our parents genetically. But then it can also be encouraged or discouraged by the environments in which we grow up. When people who are not naturally affectionate spend time with those who are, they can absolutely learn to become more comfortable giving and receiving affection over time.

Q: In general, what makes affection so important to us as humans, and what advice do you have for people who might be lacking affectionate relationships in their lives?

A: Affection is so important to humans because relationships are so important to humans. Humans are highly social beings, and affection is one of the primary communicative ways in which we develop and maintain our relationships. Experiencing affection deprivation can be extremely difficult, both physically and mentally. The same strategies won't work for everyone, but some people find benefit in expanding the range of behaviors that they include in their definition of affection. For some people, affection means only overt expressions, such as kissing, hugging and hand holding. For others, affection can be expressed through helpful behaviors such as doing favors for someone or acknowledging a special day. In some relationships, one person engages in behaviors that are intended to express affection to the partner but are not interpreted by the partner in that way. That can make the partner feel affection deprived unnecessarily. When we consider the affection we receive in all its forms, however, we often realize that we’re getting more than we thought we were. When people look beyond the obvious affectionate behaviors to others that can also express love and care, they may find they are already receiving more affection than they realized. Inviting and modeling the type of affection they seek and nurturing a variety of affectionate relationships can also be useful when one is lacking affection.

Why it may be better to give than to receive this Valentine's Day (2024)

FAQs

Why it may be better to give than to receive this Valentine's Day? ›

Those who spent it on others felt greater happiness. Not only that, but giving to charity also had positive effects on physical health. Another study showed that participants who gave to others experienced a significant decrease in blood pressure, a result not seen in those who spent the money on themselves.

Why is it important to gift someone a Valentine's Day? ›

Why Do We Give Gifts on Valentine's Day?
  • It's A Lot More Fun. ...
  • They Are Unique and Special. ...
  • They Help Convey Your Emotions. ...
  • They Make For A Memorable Gift. ...
  • They Are Versatile. ...
  • They Leave a Lasting Impact. ...
  • They Help Strengthen Your Bond.

Is gift giving important in celebrating Valentine's Day to express love? ›

Thoughtful Gift-Giving

While gift-giving is a common tradition on Valentine's Day, it's important to share with children why we give gifts. Gift giving expresses our love and appreciation for others, and shows them that we're thinking about them.

Should I give a gift for valentines Day? ›

In Summary: Life is too short to worry about whether or not to give somebody a gift. If you see something she might like, or want to pursue the relationship further, absolutely get her a Valentine's Day gift she will love.

Why do we give each other valentines? ›

The custom of trading valentines seems to have begun in Europe and the United States in the 18th century, but some legends attribute the exchange of affectionate greetings to St. Valentine himself.

How important is Valentine's Day to a woman? ›

In addition to being a particular day for couples to express their love and gratitude to one another, Valentine's Day is also a time when women honor their relationships with their female friends. This day provides an opportunity to express gratitude, share joy, and strengthen women's unique connection with each other.

Should girls give gifts on Valentine's Day? ›

The short answer is yes. While it is always nice to have a special present on Valentine's Day, it is not necessary to wait until then to give someone a gift. In fact, giving your loved one a gift before Valentine's Day can add a special touch to the holiday and make it even more meaningful.

Do guys expect gifts on Valentine's Day? ›

Valentine's Day is a popular holiday for couples that dates back to the 1300s. Throughout history, this holiday has been celebrated by couples but, more so, the women in the relationships. However, a survey has proven that men enjoy celebrating the holiday and getting showered with gifts too.

When did people start giving gifts for Valentine's Day? ›

Well, the buckets of blooms we associate with Valentine's Day became a traditional gift back in the 16th century. With the rose the obvious flower of choice for the day, thanks to its associations with Venus, the goddess of love. By the Victorian era, red roses became particularly popular.

When did we start giving gifts on Valentine's Day? ›

On Valentine's Day in 1415, Charles, the Duke of Orleans, wrote his wife a poem while imprisoned in the Tower of London, which may have started the tradition of giving cards. By the sixteenth century, the exchanging of cards became so common that even religious leaders preached against them.

Is Valentine's Day a good idea? ›

“Ultimately, V-Day is often a day to express love and affection toward your partner, so for those who have personal reasons for not wanting to celebrate, I encourage them just to see it as another day to express love for the person(s) in their life who deserve their flowers 365 days of the year.” So even if one half of ...

What is the real meaning of Valentine's day? ›

While the date is meant to honor Saint Valentine's death and burial, which supposedly occurred in mid-February around 270 AD, some historians believe the date could reflect the Catholic Church's attempt to replace the ancient Pagan celebration of Lupercalia — a fertility festival for the pagan agricultural god Faunus — ...

Why is February 14 special? ›

It was celebrated as the day of romance for over a period of time from about the 14th century. Another legend says that St Valentine was executed on February 14 as a punishment for performing secret marriages to save the husbands from going to war, as they were banned by Roman emperor Claudius II.

What is the spiritual meaning of Valentine's day? ›

While the holiday has undergone secularization over time, its origins in Christian martyrdom and acts of love align with broader spiritual themes of compassion, selflessness, and devotion. For some, Valentine's Day serves as a reminder of the importance of love in both human relationships and spiritual practice.

What does Valentine's Day have to do with love? ›

Another common legend states that St. Valentine defied the emperor's orders and secretly married couples to spare the husbands from war. It is for this reason that his feast day is associated with love.

Do couples give each other gifts on Valentine's Day? ›

In most of the Western world where Valentine's Day is celebrated, it's extremely commonplace for couples and romantic attachments to give each other chocolates as a symbol of love. While teddy bears and roses are some other options that go along with the gift package, chocolates are the absolute staple.

Is Valentine's Day important in a relationship? ›

“Ultimately, V-Day is often a day to express love and affection toward your partner, so for those who have personal reasons for not wanting to celebrate, I encourage them just to see it as another day to express love for the person(s) in their life who deserve their flowers 365 days of the year.” So even if one half of ...

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