20 Funny similes for colloquial English
Let’s start by having a look at some funny similes that you can use in everyday, colloquial English. Some are more figurative than other simpler similes. To help you, we’ve provided a definition of the simile and simile examples.
As blind as a bat
Blind – ‘Help, I’m as blind as a bat without my glasses’.
As busy as a bee
Busy – ‘My little girl Alison has been as busy as a bee with school, homework, football practice and learning her lines for the school play. I can barely keep up’.
As cold as a fish
This is a funny one which means to be unemotional – ‘I really thought he cared about me, but when I told him I was moving away, he was as cold as a fish’.
As clean as a whistle
To be ‘as clean as a whistle’ means to be very clean. It can be used literally to mean something isn’t dirty or to describe someone or something that is free of incriminating evidence – ‘We had to let him go, we searched him and his bags but he was as clean as a whistle’.
As clear as mud
Something is very confusing or difficult to understand – ‘I’ve been studying algebra for two months now and it’s as clear as mud’.
As cool as a cucumber
To be calm and relaxed – ‘Some idiot has just run into the back of our car. I am absolutely fuming but Gareth, well, he’s as cool as a cucumber’.
As dead as a doornail
Completely lifeless. ‘The cat brought in a bird and I tried to save it but it was dead as a doornail’.
As fit as a fiddle
In good condition or health – ‘The doctor says I’m as fit as a fiddle and allowed to go back on the pitch’.
As fresh as a daisy
Either to be fresh and clean or to be full of energy and enthusiasm – ‘Little Leo has been off school with the chicken pox but today he’s turned up as fresh as a daisy’.
As tough as nails/as hard as nails
Very strong and determined – ‘Justine has been through so much this year. She lost her cat, she lost her job, she lost her Versace handbag, but she still keeps going with a smile on her face. She’s as tough as nails that girl’.
As good as gold
A very well-behaved child – ‘We had a lovely day on Saturday hanging out with my parents and Oliver was as good as gold, he loves his grandma’.
As mad as a box of frogs
Crazy (can be used to be kind or insulting) – ‘I love our neighbour – she’s as mad as a box of frogs and she’s so kind’.
As clear as day
Easy to see or understand – ‘She stood there smoking right outside the hospital door, even though there was a no smoking sign right in front of her, as plain as day. It’s so disrespectful!’
As pleased as Punch
Very pleased or happy – ‘If I get the promotion I want then I’ll be as pleased as Punch’.
As quiet as a mouse
Very very quiet – ‘I was supposed to be home over an hour ago. I’ll need to be quiet as a mouse to sneak in without waking her’.
As right as rain
To feel healthy or well again after being unwell, sad or under pressure. ‘Sorry I snapped at you earlier, I’m just tired. As soon as I have a good night’s sleep I’ll be as right as rain’.
As sick as a dog
To be very unwell, sick and vomiting – ‘Poor Angela. She’s not at work today because she’s ill. She’s as sick as a dog I was told’.
As easy as ABC
An easy learning process – ‘Is this your first time making cupcakes? Oh wonderful, well don’t be nervous, baking is as easy as ABC’.
As flat as a pancake
Very flat and level – ‘Compared to other countries with huge mountains and volcanoes, most of England is as flat as a pancake’.
As quick as a wink/flash
Very quickly – ‘She replied to my email as quick as a wink’.
