Want to be happy? Then live like a Stoic for a week (2024)

What have the Romans ever done for us? Well, obviously the roads – the roads go without saying. How about guidance for how to live in the 21st century? That seems less likely, but in fact the last few years have seen a flurry of interest in the work of three Roman Stoic philosophers who offered just that. They were Seneca, tutor to the Emperor Nero; Epictetus, a former slave; and Marcus Aurelius, himself emperor.

Modern books drawing on their ideas and repackaged as guidance for how to live well today include A Guide to the Good Life by William Irvine, Stoicism and the Art of Happiness by Donald Robertson, The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman, and How to Be a Stoic by Massimo Pigliucci. What all these books share is the conviction that people can benefit by going back and looking at the ideas of these Roman Stoics. There’s even an annual week dedicated to Stoicism.

Stoicism holds that the key to a good, happy life is the cultivation of an excellent mental state, which the Stoics identified with virtue and being rational. The ideal life is one that is in harmony with Nature, of which we are all part, and an attitude of calm indifference towards external events. It began in Greece, and was founded around 300BC by Zeno, who used teach at the site of the Painted Stoa in Athens, hence the name Stoicism. The works of the early Stoics are for the most part lost, so it is the Roman Stoics who have been most influential over the centuries, and continue to be today.

Control how you think

So, what were the ideas? Two foundational principles can both be found in the Handbook, a short work summarising the ideas of Epictetus. The first is that some things are within our control and some are not, and that much of our unhappiness is caused by thinking that we can control things that, in fact, we can’t.

What can we control? Epictetus argues that we actually control very little. We don’t control what happens to us, we can’t control what the people around us say or do, and we can’t even fully control our own bodies, which get damaged and sick and ultimately die without regard for our preferences. The only thing that we really control is how we think about things, the judgements we make about things.

Want to be happy? Then live like a Stoic for a week (1)

This leads us to the second foundational principle from Epictetus: it’s not things that upset us, but how we think about things. Stuff happens. We then make judgements about what happens. If we judge that something really bad has happened, then we might get upset, sad, or angry, depending on what it is. If we judge that something bad is likely to happen then we might get scared or fearful. All these emotions are the product of the judgements we make. Things in themselves are value neutral, for what might seem terrible to us might be a matter of indifference to someone else, or even welcomed by others. It’s the judgements we make that introduce value into the picture, and it’s those value judgements that generate our emotional responses.

The good Stoic news is that these value judgements are the one thing over which we have complete control. Things happen, none of which are inherently good or bad, and it’s within our power to decide how we value them. The paradox of Stoicism, as Epictetus formulates it, is that we have almost no control over anything, yet at the same time we have potentially complete control over our happiness.

Train your mind

At first glance, this might seem to understate the very real challenges that people face in their daily lives. How can just thinking differently help someone who is struggling to put food on their table, for instance? The Stoics didn’t shy away from this. They fully acknowledged that life can be hard sometimes.

Seneca knew this all too well: he suffered exile, multiple bereavements, and was ultimately forced to commit suicide by Nero. He also knew that it was all too easy to say “I’m not going to let these external things disturb me” but quite another to follow through and not be disturbed oneself.

So the Stoics developed a whole series of practical exercises designed to help train people to incorporate Stoic ideas into their daily lives. Seneca recommended taking stock at the end of each day, noting when you become irritated by something trivial, or act angrily in response to someone who perhaps didn’t deserve it, and so on. By noting his mistakes, he hoped to do better the next day.

Want to be happy? Then live like a Stoic for a week (2)

Marcus Aurelius had another strategy, reminding himself each morning that he was probably going to encounter a lot of angry, stressed, impatient, ungrateful people during the coming day. By reflecting on this in advance, the hope was that he would be less likely to respond in kind. But he also reflected on the fact that none of these people would be like this intentionally. They were the victims of their own mistaken judgements.

Here we get another paradox: no one chooses to be unhappy, stressed, angry, miserable, and yet these are in fact all the product of our judgements, the one thing within our control.

Accept what happens

Another Stoic strategy is to remind ourselves of our relative unimportance. The world does not revolve around us. Aurelius regularly reflected in his Meditations on the vastness of the universe and the infinity of time stretching into the past and future, in order to put his own short life into wider context.

Our lives are but moments when placed within this cosmic perspective. Given this, why should we expect the universe to deliver whatever it is that we might happen to want? On the contrary, it would be absurd to expect it to conform to our will.

Want to be happy? Then live like a Stoic for a week (3)

As Epictetus put it, if you expect the universe to deliver what you want, you are going to be disappointed, but if you embrace whatever the universe gives, then life will be a whole lot smoother. Again, this is easier said than done, but more and more people are taking note of this Stoic advice and working hard to incorporate it into their daily lives.

Want to be happy? Then live like a Stoic for a week (2024)

FAQs

How to live like a Stoic for a week? ›

Five top tips on being Stoic
  1. Acknowledge that you can't control much of what goes on in your life.
  2. See that your emotions are the product of how you think about the world.
  3. Accept that bad things are bound to happen to you from time to time, just as they do to everyone else.

What does it mean to live like a Stoic? ›

Stoics believe that as individuals, we have no control over external factors, like other people, events and society. It was the Stoics who first taught us to let go of what we cannot control, and give our energy to what we can control.

How do you live a good life according to Stoics? ›

Dedicate your life to improving yourself. For the Stoics, that meant cultivating the virtues of wisdom, benevolence, justice, courage, temperance, generosity, and affection for others. Virtue, the Stoics believed, is both necessary and sufficient for happiness.

What is Stoic week? ›

Stoicism and Well-Being

Stoic Week is an annual online event in which people. from all over the world attempt to live like a Stoic for seven days.

What are the Stoic 4 rules? ›

If we were to describe Stoicism in one sentence, it'd be this: A Stoic believes they don't control the world around them, only how they respond—and that they must always respond with courage, temperance, wisdom, and justice.

Are Stoics allowed to be happy? ›

The Stoics believed that each person is worthy of respect and dignity simply because they are a person. That includes ourselves. We are as worthy of happiness as anyone else. At the same time, we don't want to make the mistake of thinking we're more entitled to happiness than another person.

What is the Stoic triangle of happiness? ›

Three Simple Pillars of Living

The Stoics demonstrated that the ideal human state of existence was one where wisdom, self-control, and personal responsibility blended together. They visualized these pillars as a triangle, with the center point being a state of human balance.

Do Stoics feel love? ›

The point is: The Stoics loved deeply and unashamedly, this is impossible to argue against. However, they did so in their own unique way. In contrast to the Romantic, who understands love basically as unrequited love, the Stoic approaches the emotions, love included, from within a philosophical outlook.

Is Stoic good or bad? ›

Stoicism can be a powerful tool for individuals seeking to improve their mental health and well-being. By accepting what is outside of your control and focusing on what you can control, you can avoid unnecessary stress and anxiety. You can also cultivate a sense of gratitude and contentment.

How to be Stoic in real life? ›

These stoic practices will help bring calm to the chaos we face today.
  1. Develop An Internal Locus Of Control. ...
  2. Guard Your Time. ...
  3. Don't Outsource Your Happiness. ...
  4. Stay Focused When Confronted With Distractions. ...
  5. Toss Away Ego And Vanity. ...
  6. Consolidate Your Thoughts In Writing. ...
  7. Stand Your Ground. ...
  8. Imagine The Worst That Could Happen.

What is the Stoic rule 1? ›

Rule 1: Own the morning.

How do Stoics find happiness? ›

But in Stoic philosophy, it's the pursuit of virtue and good character that allows us to get there. For the Stoic, the pursuit of virtue is the pursuit of happiness. If we can live virtuously, a good life will follow.

What is the golden rule of Stoicism? ›

The Golden Rule, “Treat others as you would like to be treated by them” is one of the simplest and most influential of all ethical principles. Although the Golden Rule is most commonly associated with Christianity, it was arguably also implicit in many traditions, including Stoicism.

What is the daily life of a Stoic? ›

The Stoics were big on meditation, although not the standard practice we are accustomed to today. It is important in the morning to be able to sit or go for a walk in silence, listen to what is going on in your body and mind, gather your thoughts, and reflect on the day ahead.

How do I plan my day like a Stoic? ›

Mentally rehearse your day, outlining what you want to accomplish in an ideal situation. Then, think about the ways in which your day could go wrong. Mentally prepare yourself to deal with these setbacks in a way that aligns with your own core values as well as the virtues of Stoicism.

How can I practice Stoicism daily? ›

How to Practice Stoicism
  1. Practice #1: Learn to Want What You Have Using Negative Visualization. ...
  2. Practice #2: Focus on What You Can Control. ...
  3. Practice #3: Don't Let Other People Bring You Down. ...
  4. Practice #4: Ignore Things That Don't Matter. ...
  5. Practice #5: Seek Out Discomfort. ...
  6. Practice #6: Monitor Your Progress.
Dec 11, 2022

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