It’s safe to say that 2020 gave us more than enough to cry about. Yet even prior to last year, it seems that we were crying fairly often. Researchers note that, on average, American women cry 3.5 times each month, while American men cry about 1.9 times each month. These figures may take some of us by surprise, especially as our society has often looked at crying — particularly by men — as a sign of weakness and lack of emotional stamina.
Health benefits of crying
As a phenomenon that is unique to humans, crying is a natural response to a range of emotions, from deep sadness and grief to extreme happiness and joy. But is crying good for your health? The answer appears to be yes. Medical benefits of crying have been known as far back as the Classical era. Thinkers and physicians of ancient Greece and Rome posited that tears work like a purgative, draining off and purifying us. Today’s psychological thought largely concurs, emphasizing the role of crying as a mechanism that allows us to release stress and emotional pain.
Crying is an important safety valve, largely because keeping difficult feelings inside — what psychologists call repressive coping — can be bad for our health. Studies have linked repressive coping with a less resilient immune system, cardiovascular disease, and hypertension, as well as with mental health conditions, including stress, anxiety, and depression. Crying has also been shown to increase attachment behavior, encouraging closeness, empathy, and support from friends and family.
Not all tears are created equal
Scientists divide the liquid product of crying into three distinct categories: reflex tears, continuous tears, and emotional tears. The first two categories perform the important function of removing debris such as smoke and dust from our eyes, and lubricating our eyes to help protect them from infection. Their content is 98% water.
It’s the third category, emotional tears (which flush stress hormones and other toxins out of our system), that potentially offers the most health benefits. Researchers have established that crying releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, also known as endorphins. These feel-good chemicals help ease both physical and emotional pain. Popular culture, for its part, has always known the value of a good cry as a way to feel better — and maybe even to experience physical pleasure. The millions of people who watched classic tearjerker films such as West Side Story or Titanic (among others) will likely attest to that fact.
Rethinking crying in boys and men
“I know a man ain’t supposed to cry,” goes the lyric of a popular song, “but these tears I can’t hold inside.” These words succinctly summarize many a man’s dilemma about emotional expression. From early on, boys are told that real men do not cry. When these boys grow up, they may stuff their feelings deep inside and withdraw emotionally from their loved ones, or self-medicate with alcohol or drugs, or even become suicidal. Many men therefore need to learn the skills of how to reconnect with their emotions. Back in the 1990s, the poet Robert Bly led men’s seminars at which he taught the participants how to get in touch with their long-buried feelings of sadness and loss, and to weep openly if they needed to. Ideally, however, such education should begin early on, at home or at school, with adults making it safe for boys to talk about difficult feelings.
Crying during COVID
As of this writing, the nation has registered over 500,000 deaths from COVID-19. The collective grief over these losses can only be described as staggering. It is no surprise, then, that at times like these our feelings are closer to the surface, and that many people who were not previously prone to crying find themselves tearing up more easily. In fact, as one medical professional put it, showing emotion in public may have become a new normal.
When are tears a problem?
There are times when crying can be a sign of a problem, especially if it happens very frequently and/or for no apparent reason, or when crying starts to affect daily activities or becomes uncontrollable. Conversely, people suffering from certain kinds of clinical depression may actually not be able to cry, even when they feel like it. In any of these situations, it would be best to see a medical professional who can help diagnose the problem and suggest appropriate treatment.
Takeaways
As challenging as it may be, the best way to handle difficult feelings, including sadness and grief, is to embrace them. It is important to allow yourself to cry if you feel like it. Make sure to take the time and find a safe space to cry if you need to. Many people associate crying during grief with depression, when it can actually be a sign of healing. Teaching boys and young men that it’s okay to cry may reduce negative health behaviors and help them have fuller lives.
If crying becomes overwhelming or uncontrollable, see a doctor or mental health professional for evaluation and treatment.
FAQs
As a phenomenon that is unique to humans, crying is a natural response to a range of emotions, from deep sadness and grief to extreme happiness and joy. But is crying good for your health? The answer appears to be yes. Medical benefits of crying have been known as far back as the Classical era.
Is crying a healthy response? ›
Crying may support both the body and mind by restoring emotional balance, dulling pain, and activating your parasympathetic nervous system to help you self-soothe, among other benefits. Crying is a common human action, and it can be triggered by many different emotions.
Is crying good for your physical health? ›
Research has found that in addition to being self-soothing, shedding emotional tears releases oxytocin and endorphins. These chemicals make people feel good and may also ease both physical and emotional pain. In this way, crying can help reduce pain and promote a sense of well-being.
Is it unhealthy to not cry for years? ›
In the short term, it can cause pesky problems such as irritability, anxiety, and poor sleep. But over time, repressing your tears can lead to cardiovascular diseases such as hypertension — or even cancer. Yikes.
How much crying is healthy? ›
No guidelines exist that determine how much people should or should not cry. Studies indicate that women tend to shed more emotional tears than men.
Is it better to cry or hold it in? ›
Today's psychological thought largely concurs, emphasizing the role of crying as a mechanism that allows us to release stress and emotional pain. Crying is an important safety valve, largely because keeping difficult feelings inside — what psychologists call repressive coping — can be bad for our health.
Does crying remove toxins? ›
CRYING HELPS DETOX THE BODY
Reflex tears clean out debris from your eyes, such as smoke and dust, helping protect them. Continuous tears protect your eyes from infection by keeping them moist. Emotional tears contain stress hormones and other toxins that they flush from your body.
Why is crying healing? ›
Emotional tears also contain more mood-regulating manganese than the other types. Stress "tightens muscles and heightens tension, so when you cry you release some of that," Sideroff says. "[Crying] activates the parasympathetic nervous system and restores the body to a state of balance."
What are the disadvantages of crying? ›
The physical downsides of crying are pretty straightforward: puffy eyes, splotchy skin and a headachy feeling that can be chalked up to the strong contractions of your facial muscles while you weep and pressure in your sinuses from the runny nose that accompanies a tear-fest.
Is crying every day bad for your eyes? ›
Crying may help clear toxins and bacteria from eyes and improve vision. It can also help regulate your moods, improve your sleep, and help you communicate needs. Moderate levels of crying are normal for most people. But crying that is too frequent or intense could indicate a problem.
There are lots of reasons why people have a hard time crying. Just because you rarely, or never, cry doesn't automatically mean that you are repressing your emotions in an unhealthy way. It could just mean that you haven't had anything happen to you that causes you to feel sad.
Is it bad to cry silently? ›
There is nothing dangerous in expressing emotions, everyone has their own way to express their feelings, silent crying is also one of them. If you cry silently then that means you don't want others to see your tears and don't feel comfortable expressing your sorrow among people.
How long is it OK to cry for? ›
Do you cry too much? There are no guidelines for how much crying is too much. A study in the 1980s found that women cry an average of 5.3 times per month and men cry an average of 1.3 times per month. A newer study found that the average duration for a crying session was eight minutes.
Is it OK if I cry everyday? ›
While crying is a natural response, you may want to talk with a professional if you feel it has become excessive or uncontrollable. You may also consider talking to professionals if your crying is coupled with other behaviors, like thoughts of self-harm.
What can happen if you cry too much? ›
It can lead to fits or can cause acute shortness of breath. For those with severe heart conditions, there can be a cardiac pain. Crying can take a toll on your body if you have certain medical conditions. For most people crying does more good for their body than harm.
Is it normal to cry for 2 hours straight? ›
Severe grief or disruption can cause anyone to cry, and that's normal. Prolonged crying that persists without reason is not normal and may indicate a serious condition requiring treatment. Dr. Kirtly Parker Jones talks about tears, crying, and emotions that are uniquely human.
Is crying a good coping mechanism? ›
Why crying is a healthy coping mechanism. Even though we might try to avoid it, crying is often therapeutic and can be beneficial to our mental health and well-being. It's a healthy way to release pent-up emotions such as sadness, frustration, anger, or even joy.
Why is crying a natural response? ›
These arise from strong emotions. Empathy, compassion, physical pain, attachment pain, and moral and sentimental emotions can trigger these tears. They communicate your emotions to others. Emotional tears make you feel more vulnerable, which could improve your relationships.
What kind of response is crying? ›
Crying is the dropping of tears (or welling of tears in the eyes) in response to an emotional state or pain. Emotions that can lead to crying include sadness, anger, excitement, and even happiness.
Is crying a positive feedback? ›
You release oxytocin and endorphins after you cry, which can help lift your mood. If you feel emotional comfort when you cry, your mood can improve afterward. But if you try to push back your tears or feel shame when you cry, it can have the opposite effect and actually bring down your mood.
