How to say you don’t like a gift, without looking ungrateful - Jane Travis - Self Care for Busy Women (2024)

FAQs

How do you politely say you don't like a gift? ›

All you need to do is say something like, “Oh, thank you” Or, “Oh - how nice of you to get this for me”. After that, it is yours to do with as you want. You can throw it away or give it away, or regift.

Tell them you gave the gift a try, but didn't like it. Pretend as though this was as much a surprise to you as it is to them hearing it. Do your best to make light of the situation, but never seem as though you regret receiving a gift. A thoughtful but unwanted gift is always better than none at all.

“Mom, you know I love you and appreciate your generosity, but you spent a lot of money on this gift and I won't use it. I don't want to hurt your feelings by not using something you spent so much on. I know I'm hard to shop for, so why don't we take it back together and pick something I will use?

You can suggest a gift card, but don't give them an amount. You can suggest a low or moderately priced gift. My favourite is chocolate. Or if you don't want anything, tell them you appreciate the thought but already have everything you need.

If the disappointment proves challenging to overcome, find a moment to share your feelings with the gift giver. Approach the conversation with sensitivity, emphasizing your gratitude for their thoughtfulness while gently expressing your preferences.

“Do it with as much kindness as possible,” advises neuropsychologist Dr Rachel Taylor, who explains that a recipient not liking a gift is the equivalent of saying no to something, and human beings are hardwired to dislike both saying and hearing no.

For some of us, receiving gifts makes us feel awkward and uncomfortable (receiving a gift makes me feel the same humiliation and unease as being sung “Happy Birthday” to). Oftentimes, there's nothing we actually want, and some of us don't have enough space at home for any more stuff.

Given that getting any gift at all is good, why does it cause so much distress? The answer probably has less to do with the gift itself and more to do with the feeling that the person giving you a bad gift doesn't really understand you. Gifting is a way of telling a person they are on your mind.

If it is someone – like your family, spouse, bestie – who buys terrible gifts all the time, it's better to let them know early so you won't be sulking every time you get a gift from them. Just have a quiet discussion where you tell them the things you (don't) love and what you'll appreciate moving forward.

"It's important to just find appreciation and gratefulness in the gift itself," Owraghi said. "But if you feel like you're not getting the gifts that you're desiring, then maybe you need to communicate with that person a little bit more, so they understand what to get you."

How to tell someone a gift doesn't fit? ›

Most people won't be hurt, especially if it just doesn't fit you. Show your gratitude and say, "I love it, but unfortunately that doesn't fit/it's way too small/isn't my style." Just don't say: "I really hate it so would you mind if I exchange it?"

Thank the giver for thinking of you. Even if you don't agree with the thought process, you can show that you appreciate it. “How very thoughtful of you.” “How nice of you to think of me.” Express appreciation for the time and effort it took to find or create the gift.

Remind them of its usefulness.

Simply because it's not exactly what they wanted doesn't mean that your gift is any less helpful. Try not to let their indifferent reaction make you forget that. You might say, “I know this may not be what you wanted, but I heard you say a while back how you needed these…”