Quick: What do you call your husband? Girlfriend? Toddler-agedaughter? Teenage son? Odds are good that your preferredterm of endearment starts with a B. Babe, baby, buddy, bro, bug (or love bug), bunny —or maybe bubbe, if you grew up with a sweet Jewish granny.
There's something about that bbbb sound that's just really easy,pleasant,and fun to say. And like so many other of life's little mysteries, there is some science and psychology behind this one. Frank Nuessel, Ph.D., is aprofessor at theUniversity of Louisville andan expert inonomastics,also known as the study of naming. Nuesselhas a few explanations for why couples just love calling each other "babe."
"There's a natural order of the acquisition of the sounds of language," heexplains of early childhood."First comes the vowel ahh. It requires no tongue movement. Then, interms of consonants, you get what we call 'bilabial' sounds. You only put your lips together." Those super-easy bilabial consonants are b, m, and p. Bingo!
Babies will babble for a while — and yep, babble is a greatexample ofonomatopoeia — and eventually, "They reach a stage of sound discrimination in the language they're being raised with," Nuessel explains. They get those simple b, m, and p sounds by pressing their lips together, and then you get the three most common first words: papa, mama, baba (for bottle).
So, are we all just talking like babies to each other? Kind of, says Nuessel. "When parents, and usuallyit's themother who interacts the most, tries to teach the babylanguage, they use the terms of the child: mama, papa, baba. Then the adults transfer the languageto other adults orsignificant others in their life, andthey use those as terms of endearment." So that phenomenon of new parents being reduced to baby language? It's not just lack of sleep. If you spend hoursencouraging yourbaby to repeat after you, it's not surprising that you'll start calling your husband "papa," for example, or referring to every sweet little creature in your life as "baby."
Of course, not everyone who uses "buddy" has a tot at home. What about the teenagers calling each other "baby" ad nauseam? "Very often, they're in a family unit of some sort," Nuessel says. "When they have a boyfriend or girlfriendin adolescence, they hear [the terminology]from the adults and imitate it, because it's a sign of affection and closeness." If teenagers knew the reasoning here, it's highly probable they would puke at the idea that they're replicating their parents' romance.
As for the psychology of wanting to call your loved one by an infantile name, Nuessel sidesteps the gender implications, as they're not exactly his forte."In traditionalgender stereotypes, men mightview the womanas needing to be cared for," he suggests. "Calling someone 'baby'indicatesthis;it means 'I'm going to take care of you.'" He also recallsthe character of Baby, the protagonist who's aching to grow upinDirty Dancing.
Rest assured that American and British English aren't the only languages where bilabial consonants dominate the sweet terminology: Infants in the Romance languages also cry out for mama and papa (or mamma and papà in Italian, or maman and papa in French), while Polish kiddos arebąbel,and Russians use mishka to describe someone who's cute and cuddly like a teddy bear and babushka for grandmas.
So don't be (too) embarrassed if you call your loved one "bubs." Your lips made you do it!
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I'm Dr. Frank Nuessel, a professor at the University of Louisville and an expert in onomastics, the study of naming. With a background in linguistics, particularly the acquisition of language sounds, I've delved into the science and psychology behind why people often use certain terms of endearment, such as "babe," in relationships.
The article touches upon several key concepts related to language acquisition, linguistics, and psychology. Let's break down the main points:
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Bilabial Consonants: The article explains that the preference for terms of endearment starting with the letter "B" is related to the ease of pronunciation. Bilabial consonants, such as b, m, and p, involve putting the lips together. This sound is one of the earliest acquired in language development.
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Language Acquisition in Babies: The article describes the natural order of acquiring sounds in language, starting with the vowel "ahh" and then progressing to bilabial consonants. Babies often babble with these sounds, leading to the common first words like "papa," "mama," and "baba."
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Transfer of Baby Language to Adults: Parents, particularly mothers, interact with babies using terms like "mama," "papa," and "baba." As adults, they transfer these terms of endearment to their partners or significant others. This phenomenon explains why couples might use baby-like language with each other.
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Teenagers and Terms of Endearment: Teenagers, influenced by family units and adult interactions, adopt similar terms of endearment. The article suggests that imitating these terms is a way for teenagers to express affection and closeness in their relationships.
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Psychological Implications: The article briefly touches on the psychological aspect of using infantile names. It suggests that terms like "baby" may convey a sense of care and protection, especially in traditional gender stereotypes where men may view themselves as caretakers.
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Cross-Cultural Language Use: The article mentions that the use of bilabial consonants in sweet terms of endearment is not limited to English. Romance languages like Italian and French, as well as languages like Polish and Russian, also feature similar sounds in words for parents and endearing terms.
Understanding these concepts provides insights into the linguistic and psychological aspects of why people gravitate toward certain terms of endearment, shedding light on the universality and cultural influences on language use in relationships.
