Bringing a Plus-One to a Wedding? The Etiquette Rules You Need to Know (2024)
If you've ever received a wedding invitation addressed solely to you and wondered to yourself, Okay, but can I I bring a guest? then you'll want to keep reading (and because #weddingseason).
The territory of wedding guest etiquette can be tricky to navigate. In theory, each invitation you receive should explicitly state whether or not you can bring a plus-one—but often enough, that simply isn't the case. Perhaps you recently got into a serious relationship (or got engaged!). Then what? The rules can always be tricky. Well, we're here to help. Keep scrolling for your complete guide to handling every plus-one conundrum with aplomb and grace.
If a wedding invitation doesn't explicitly say it's for you "and guest", and if you aren't married or living with your romantic partner, then under no circ*mstances are you to ask the couple or their families for permission to bring a plus-one. It's considered rude and can lead to an awkward conversation about the wedding party's finances. (Perhaps they can only afford to host a more limited number of guests at their big day!)
It is, however, acceptable to reach out to thecouple and ask them for clarification about whether or not you are invited with a guest. The envelope should clearly state whether or not you may bring a plus-one, but if you got engaged after the invitations were sent out or you recently moved in with your romantic partner, it's okay to simply ask.
Ideally, a wedding invitation will explicitly state that you are invited "with guest". But if you are married, engaged, or in an otherwise openly committed relationship, according to etiquette maven Emily Post, it's okay to assume your partner may attend the festivities with you.
"Ms. Post recommends that those who are engaged, in a committed partnership, or living together be invited to come with that significant other," reads one New York Times article.
That being said, if there's any doubt in your mind, it's best to simply ask for clarification.
Emily Post also suggests that if you are single, casually dating, or otherwise romantically unattached, you should not assume you can bring a guest.
"Those who are single or dating someone but are not living with him or her, should not expect to take a guest unless the invitation specifically says so," Post says.
Wedding plus-ones are typically intended to be used for your spouse, fiancé, or romantic partner. It is generally considered to be in poor taste to bring anyone else.
"If there's any chance that your escort might be outwardly impolite or inappropriate, do not bring them,"wedding planner Jennifer Brisman advises. "Do not bring a roommate, housemate, parent, or sibling as your escort. This is considered impolite and disrespectful."
Consider this the rule to trump all rules: Do not show up with a guest if you were not invited with a guest. It is better to be safe than sorry, so be absolutely clear on whether or not you have been invited with a plus-one before you show up with one.
Know that you're informed of the etiquette rules on bringing a guest to a wedding, shop the perfect dress to wear to any summer ceremony below.
In other words, no, your plus-one doesn't have to purchase his or her own gift. It's perfectly acceptable to purchase one gift from the two of you. It's also acceptable for your date to contribute to the gift in some way. However, like most wedding guidelines, this isn't a hard and fast rule.
In other words, no, your plus-one doesn't have to purchase his or her own gift. It's perfectly acceptable to purchase one gift from the two of you. It's also acceptable for your date to contribute to the gift in some way. However, like most wedding guidelines, this isn't a hard and fast rule.
Smith & Guest” but sending it to your guest and adding a note at the bottom of the card or on the back of the invitation saying “You are invited to bring a guest” or “You are invited to bring a plus one”. When addressing the outside envelope, write the guest's first and last name while not adding “and guest”.
As a standard rule, if a plus one (or “guest”) isn't listed on your invitation, you likely aren't meant to bring one. In this case, it may be considered rude to ask the couple if you can bring someone anyway. Don't take it personally—there are plenty of reasons why couples don't include plus-ones.
Like with your wedding party, it's also standard practice to extend a plus one to any immediate family members. But depending on the size of your venue, it may be easy to accommodate. Additionally, the decision can also depend on how well the couple knows someone's plus one.
If it is someone you are very close to, such as immediate family members or the bridal party, including a plus one is generally the right thing to do. As a rule of thumb, if the partner of the plus one is important to you, it is a nice gesture to invite the person that's important to them.
You should make it very clear on the save the date and your wedding invitations that it is addressed to only the person or people you want to attend. If they still bring up the topic of a plus one, be polite but firm: “I'm so sorry but due to budget limitations/venue capacity, I'm afraid we can't justify plus ones.”
If you can afford it, sure, include a plus-one for all of your guests. But if not, some of your guests will probably be receiving solo invites, and that's OK! Don't beat yourself up for leaving any of the following people off your plus-one list: New couples or those who are casually dating.
How do you pick which relatives to invite? Your immediate family is a wedding guest list no-brainer, as well as aunts, uncles, first cousins, and grandparents. But for more distant kin, a good rule of thumb is to group like with like, and either invite the whole bunch, or none at all.
While there are certain situations that make it acceptable to invite some guests to the ceremony and reception and others to just the reception alone, you should never do the opposite. Inviting someone to your ceremony and not to the reception would most likely hurt their feelings, so you shouldn't even consider it.
If you find on the stationary your name "and guest" or "+1," you technically can bring anyone you want as your date for the night. In this case, your guest is off the hook for the registry. "The plus-one is not expected to get a gift for the couple at the wedding," explains Elaine Swann.
"Given our planned resources, we have decided to limit the number of guests."
"Our goal is to keep our very special weekend (or day) as intimate as possible, we are choosing to celebrate with only our closest family and friends. Thank you for respecting our wishes."
Unfortunately, due to budget and space limitations, we simply can't afford for all of our lovely guests to bring a guest of their own. Therefore, we regretfully our guests to please not bring a plus one, unless they are specifically named on the invitation. Thank you so much for understanding!
“Some couples like to split it 50/50, others like to contribute a certain amount based on their annual income, and others weigh it differently based on whose friend or family member is getting married,” says Alexander. The important thing is to be upfront with what each of you is willing to spend.
Members of the couple's immediate family, those in the bridal party, guests who won't know many people, and those who are married, engaged, or live together are generally the types of guests who you should allow to have plus one.
“Guests invited to a wedding ceremony, whether or not they can attend, should send or bring a gift,” writes Emily Post. For those invited to just the reception, it is optional.
According to traditional etiquette standards, it's not necessary to offer a plus one to coworkers, especially if you don't know their partner or if they are attending as part of a workgroup.
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