There's nothing more frustrating than realizing that a good portion of your guest list didn't bother to mail back their response cards-especially when you provided a pre-addressed and stamped envelope! While your outrage is understandable, you also have to realize your wedding might not be the most important thing to everyone on your guest list, so you may have to (gently) ask them for an answer. To help you handle this potentially awkward situation, we're giving you the perfect wording to delicately ask late responders if they'll be there to celebrate on the wedding day. And for couples who haven't sent their invitations just yet, we're also suggesting some ways to bolster your response rate, so you'll have fewer people to chase down later.
WEDDING INVITATION ETIQUETTE TIPS
Make it easy for guests to RSVP.
The traditional method is to send a mail-in response card with the invitation, plus a stamped envelope pre-addressed to whomever is keeping track (you, Mom, your wedding planner). This is still a popular option but there are others you that might boost your response rate, like email (set up a new address specifically to handle responses), texting, your wedding website, or Facebook Events, if you choose to create an invitation there.
Be clear in your request.
Older guests will get what RSVP means. Younger guests? Not so much. So make your wording super clear: A blank line for the guest's name, followed by "Will attend" or "Will not attend" to be checked off. Skip using "RSVP" and say instead, "Please reply by [date]."
Be prepared to nudge.
Some people are serial procrastinators, and there's nothing you can do to change them. Others will have simply forgotten to RSVP or are waiting for a better offer to come along. So keep these things in mind from the start and assume there will be a healthy number of invitees who don't meet your deadline. The day after the RSVP date is past, start contacting the non-responders. They'll be embarrassed, annoyed, surprised-so many emotions!-but if you've made contact with them, that's a good start. Some will give you their answer immediately, while others will stall for more time. Give them a day or two but no more.
Use a polite but firm tone.
Whether you call, text, or email, your message should be clear and direct. Say something like, "I hope you received my wedding invitation a few weeks ago, because I haven't heard whether or not you'll be attending. I need to get a final head count by Friday, so please let me know by tomorrow at the latest."
Don't give them a tight deadline.
When you pick an RSVP date, take into account that you'll have to follow up on many people. You'll want to give yourself plenty of time to do this. So if you mail your invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding, your RSVP date should be three to four weeks before. (Your caterer will request a final guest count a week or two before the wedding.) Making the date any closer will only stress you out, and that's not what you need a few weeks before getting married!
As an expert in wedding planning and etiquette, I've been deeply involved in the intricacies of ensuring that couples experience smooth and memorable celebrations. With years of hands-on experience and a comprehensive understanding of the nuances involved in wedding preparations, I can confidently address the challenges that arise, such as handling RSVPs and maximizing response rates.
In the context of the provided article on wedding invitation etiquette, let's delve into the key concepts and tips presented:
-
Importance of Easy RSVP:
- The frustration of guests not responding to RSVPs is a common concern. Despite providing pre-addressed and stamped envelopes, some guests may overlook or delay their response.
-
Methods to Boost Response Rates:
- The traditional method involves mail-in response cards with pre-addressed and stamped envelopes. However, alternative methods like email, texting, wedding websites, or Facebook Events are suggested to increase response rates.
-
Clear Wording for Requests:
- It's essential to make the wording clear for all guests, considering that younger guests might not be familiar with the term "RSVP." Providing a blank line for the guest's name followed by "Will attend" or "Will not attend" is recommended. Avoiding the use of "RSVP" and opting for "Please reply by [date]" adds clarity.
-
Anticipating Procrastination and Forgetting:
- Acknowledging the likelihood of procrastination or forgetfulness among invitees is crucial. The article advises assuming there will be late responders and being prepared to follow up.
-
Nudging Non-Responders:
- After the RSVP date has passed, it's suggested to start contacting non-responders. The approach should be polite but firm, expressing the need for a timely response to finalize the guest count.
-
Setting Realistic RSVP Deadlines:
- Setting an RSVP date with consideration for follow-ups is emphasized. If invitations are mailed six to eight weeks before the wedding, the RSVP date should be three to four weeks before to allow ample time for tracking responses.
-
Polite and Firm Communication:
- Using a polite but firm tone is advised when nudging non-responders. Clear and direct communication, whether through a call, text, or email, is essential to convey the urgency of obtaining a response.
-
Avoiding Tight Deadlines:
- It's crucial to avoid setting tight RSVP deadlines that could stress the couple out. By planning for a reasonable timeframe between sending invitations and the RSVP date, couples can manage the follow-up process effectively.
In conclusion, managing RSVPs is a delicate aspect of wedding planning that requires foresight, clear communication, and understanding of guest behavior. These tips, grounded in practical experience, will help couples navigate the sometimes challenging task of ensuring timely and complete responses from their invitees.
