When you get to a certain age, you start to get a ton of wedding invites. Which is exciting—yay, everyone's getting married!—but this time can also be super stressful. You have to figure out how to travel to most of these celebrations, book a hotel room, find something to wear, AND buy a gift. Attending every event you get invited to can be a huge drain on your financesand just on you in general. So how are you to decide when it's okay to say no? Here are six situations in which you don't need to attend if you'd rather not.
1. You simply can't afford to go
You live in L.A. but your pal is getting married on the picturesque island of St. Lucia. Which sounds incredible...until you realize that just the flight out there will set you back over $1,000. When couples decide to have destination weddings, they do realize that not everyone on their guest list will be able to make it (or, at least, they should). If attending a wedding will put you in a not-so-great financial hitch, it's more than okay to decline and send a sweet card with a small gift instead.
2. You'll have to sacrifice all of your vacation time
Paid time off is precious. While you'll likely be able to make long weekends out of some weddings for a little rest and relaxation time, you don't want to attend so many nuptials that you are completely out of vacation days, or worse—get into the red. Plus, you need to be able to take days for yourself and recharge where and when you want to...not just in cities where your friends are getting married. Remember it's totally fine to do you, even in the midst of a crazy year of weddings.
3. You haven't communicated at a level higher than texting on birthdays in over a year
Weddings are special events at which people you truly care about should be in attendance. If you haven't spoken on the phone or seen the couple who invited you (or at least the person in the couple to which you're close) in a long time—and you get the feeling that this trend will continue—you don't need to go. You don't want the last time you'll ever see someone to be at their wedding.
4. You've never met his or her intended
Again, this is all about the level of friendship and your relationship with the person in the couple who you're friends with (or related to, in some cases): You may live on opposite coasts so never meeting the spouse-to-be is just an unfortunate consequence of being long-distance close pals. But, more than likely, you've never met the friend or family member's other half because you're just not that tight anymore.
5. You're one of the hundreds of invitees
When you've been invited to a 500-person wedding and you're not super close with the people who invited you anymore or you'd have to stretch your budget to attend, you can bow out without hurting anyone's feelings. Basically, if you feel like your invite was sent in order to pad the guest list, it probably was.
6. You're cool with not being close friends anymore
Maybe you've realized you don't really want to be good pals with someone anymore—or you never liked him/her to begin with. Wanting to skip someone's wedding is a clear sign that you're okay with letting that friendship fade. (Though, RSVPing "no" to a wedding in order to "send someone a message" is super passive aggressive and definitely NOT recommended!)
At the end of the day, if you feel like it's not necessary or that there's just simply too much going on for you to handle going to a wedding right now, that's totally fine.
Sure thing! This article dives into the complexities of deciding when to decline wedding invitations. I'm well-versed in the etiquette and considerations surrounding wedding attendance.
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Financial Constraints: Attending a wedding can be expensive, especially if it's a destination wedding. It's crucial to consider your budget. Flight costs, accommodation, and other expenses can add up significantly. It's acceptable to decline and send a thoughtful gift instead.
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Vacation Days: Balancing wedding attendance with your available vacation days is vital. Attending numerous weddings can deplete your leave, affecting your ability to take personal time. It's essential to prioritize self-care and personal time off amidst the wedding season.
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Relationship Dynamics: The depth of your relationship with the couple matters. If your communication with them has been minimal or distant, attending might not be necessary. It's crucial to gauge the significance of your connection before committing.
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Unfamiliarity with the Partner: If you've never met the soon-to-be spouse, it could indicate a shift in your friendship. Sometimes, geographical distance or changing dynamics can lead to a lack of interaction with the partner-to-be.
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Large Guest Lists: Being part of a massive guest list where your relationship with the couple isn't strong can make declining less impactful. Sometimes, invitations are extended to many to fill seats rather than due to a close connection.
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Changing Dynamics: If you're content with a diminishing friendship or you've realized the relationship isn't a priority anymore, declining the invitation may align with your feelings. However, using a decline as a message can come across as passive-aggressive and isn't advisable.
Ultimately, the decision to attend a wedding depends on various factors: your relationship with the couple, financial capability, and personal boundaries. It's acceptable to decline gracefully, especially when circ*mstances align with the outlined scenarios. Balancing social obligations and personal well-being is key during a flurry of wedding invites.
