Do you have a fear of public speaking but you have to give a wedding speech? Whether you’re the maid of honor, best man, or a parent, I have the inside scoop on how to replace your public speaking fear with confidence.
I’m a professional wedding vow and speech writer and after I ghostwrite custom speeches for my clients, I provide public speaking tips too.
And that’s because writing the wedding speech is only half of the challenge. A really killer wedding toast is not only what you say, it’s how you say it.
So brush up on your public speaking skills if you want to make a positive and lasting impression with the couple and their guests.
Tip #1: Practice in Front of People
The best way to get over your fear is to face it. Gather a group of close friends for a dry-run of your speech. You can even pour everyone a glass of bubbly to set the scene.
Recite your wedding speech just like you would on the wedding day. Afterward, ask everyone to give you two points of feedback: One positive and one constructive.
It’s important that you let everyone know in advance that they’ll be expected to give this kind of feedback. It allows them to make the necessary observations and it prepares you to expect a variety of feedback.
It might be difficult to hear your closest friends critique your speech but this feedback is exactly what will allow you to shine on the wedding day when the group is larger and the speech is recorded for the couple to rewatch.
Tip #2: Print Your Speech
Do not read your speech off of your phone. The backlight from your device can discolor your face in photos and videos.
Plus, we associate phones with distractions. Put your phone away and instead, print or handwrite your speech on paper.
Notecards are okay but make sure they’re in order and that you don’t have too many cards. Otherwise, you can easily lose your place if one card is out of order.
Tip #3: Lay off the Booze
While it may seem like a good idea to have a few drinks to steady your nerves, avoid relying on too much alcohol. Liquid courage tends to welcome embarrassment more than poise.
Save the drinks for after your speech. If you are really craving a co*cktail, consume no more than one drink prior to speaking.
Tip #4: But Be Sure to Eat!
A common oversight on wedding days is that the wedding party forgets to eat until dinner. So make a point to eat despite how busy you’ll be all day.
You can’t assume that there will be food readily availability so pack some protein-heavy snacks with you to nibble on in-between hair, makeup, and photos.
The last thing you want is low blood sugar when it’s your turn to take to the mic.
Tip #5: Speak Up and Slow Down
One of the most common public speaking fails I witness is when the speaker can’t be understood because they’re speaking too quickly and quietly.
Instead, slow down and speak up so that every guest will hear you. You may not feel the confidence but fake it and this alone will greatly enhance your stage presence.
Tip #6: Know How to Use a Microphone
No matter how large or small the venue, use a microphone. And know how to use it.
Hold the mic so that it’s close enough to your mouth to pick up the sound but not so close that it blocks your face.
And remember that when you move your head from side to side as you talk, the mic should travel with you. Otherwise, guests will hear your voice going in and out as you move.
Tip #7: Make Fake Eye Contact
It’s daunting to think about speaking in front of a room full of wedding guests. If you make eye contact with those guests, your nerves are likely only going to worsen.
But making eye contact is an essential part of being a rockstar speaker.
This is why I recommend making “fake eye contact.” This is when you look at the top of everyone’s head instead of directly into their eyes. It’s less intimidating for you and guests will never know the difference.
Tip #8: Get Inspired
Watch some of your favorite speeches online. I personally can’t get enough of Gina Rodriguez’s speech at the 2015 Golden Globes.
Tip #9: Find Your Rhythm
The key to delivering an impactful speech is knowing how to manipulate your voice to fit each sentence.
For example, some funny lines are best delivered with dry humor and a serious facial expression while others are played up when the speech giver chuckles or smiles coyly.
There are also times when it makes sense to speak especially slowly or to breeze quickly over a couple of words. If you can hone in on finding the lyrical rhythm for your delivery, you’ll look and sound like a real pro.
Tip #10: Be Aware of Your Gestures
Minor hand gestures add personality and vibrancy to your wedding speech. Keep it minimal.
Too many hand gestures become distracting. Also, avoid other ticks such as excessive pacing or inserting “um” in between each sentence.
Tip #11: Write a Wedding Speech that You Feel Excited About
If you have a solid speech that you feel confident to deliver, you’ll feel more at ease. It’s when we’re uncertain with the material we have to pubically say that our nerves become heightened.
You can always get help with writing your wedding speech for that extra confidence boost.
As a professional wedding speech writer, I have worked with countless wedding party members to write custom and memorable speeches. Get in touch to see how I can help you.
I'm not just an enthusiast in the realm of public speaking and wedding speeches—I'm a seasoned professional with an extensive background in crafting wedding vows and speeches that leave a lasting impact. I've honed my expertise by working closely with clients, ghostwriting custom speeches that cater to their unique personalities and the specific tone of the occasion. Beyond just writing, I've delved into the intricacies of public speaking, offering valuable tips and guidance to ensure that the delivery matches the eloquence of the written words.
Now, let's break down the concepts discussed in the article and provide additional insights:
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Facing the Fear of Public Speaking:
- The article suggests overcoming the fear of public speaking by practicing in front of a small audience, seeking constructive feedback.
- This aligns with well-established public speaking strategies, emphasizing the importance of practice and exposure to build confidence.
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Speech Preparation:
- Printing or handwriting the speech on paper is recommended over using a phone to avoid distractions and facial discoloration in photos.
- This tip reflects the need for careful consideration of how the speech is presented visually and the potential impact on multimedia documentation.
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Alcohol and Nutrition:
- Advises against relying on alcohol for courage, as it may lead to embarrassment.
- Encourages eating before the speech to avoid low blood sugar, a practical consideration often overlooked on busy wedding days.
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Speaking Techniques:
- Emphasizes the importance of speaking clearly and at an appropriate pace to enhance stage presence.
- Recommends the use of a microphone and provides tips on its proper handling to maintain consistent audio quality.
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Engaging the Audience:
- Introduces the concept of "fake eye contact" to ease nervousness, suggesting looking at the top of everyone's head instead of directly into their eyes.
- Advocates for making minor hand gestures to add personality to the speech while cautioning against excessive gestures and other distractions.
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Inspiration and Rhythm:
- Advises watching online speeches for inspiration, showcasing the importance of learning from successful speakers.
- Encourages finding a rhythmic flow in speech delivery, understanding when to vary the tone, pace, and facial expressions for maximum impact.
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Speech Writing:
- Stresses the significance of writing a speech that the speaker feels excited and confident about.
- Promotes seeking professional help, acknowledging that a well-crafted speech contributes to increased confidence.
In summary, the article covers a comprehensive range of tips, from conquering the fear of public speaking to the nuances of speech preparation, delivery, and engagement. It aligns with established principles of effective communication, emphasizing both the content and the manner in which it is presented to create a memorable wedding speech.
