Is it rude to invite people to bridal shower and not wedding?
The short answer is, you should not invite anyone to your shower who will not be invited to the wedding. Your shower is an intimate gathering of some of the closest women (and men if you choose) in your life, and if anyone makes the cut for your shower, they should also be close enough to you to get a wedding invite.
The answer? No, negative, nein, non, not ok. Etiquette says that you can't invite someone to your bridal shower (and expect them to give a gift) but not invite them to the wedding. It's a major faux pas.
Traditionally, the guest list consists of the bride-to-be's closest female friends and relatives. It's also considered proper etiquette for close relatives of the bride-to-be's spouse to attend the shower. This could include their mom, sisters, grandmother or another family member they're super close with.
One of the most significant rules answering, “Who should I invite to my bridal shower?” is that all invitees should also be invited to the wedding. Therefore, double-check your guest list and make sure you're not accidentally offending someone.
If you smell a gift grab, politely RSVP that you will not be in attendance. Remember, it doesn't break any etiquette rules to not attend a bridal shower or bachelorette party but still attend the wedding, provided that you RSVP separately for each.
The short answer is, you should not invite anyone to your shower who will not be invited to the wedding. Your shower is an intimate gathering of some of the closest women (and men if you choose) in your life, and if anyone makes the cut for your shower, they should also be close enough to you to get a wedding invite.
Don't Invite Anyone Who Isn't Invited to the Wedding
This may seem obvious, but inviting people who aren't invited to the wedding is inappropriate. It will likely offend them, and like you're pandering for gifts. The only exception is an office shower, where coworkers want to impart good wishes to the betrothed.
With that being said, our experience shows us that the average number of guests at a bridal shower is about 25, with 20-30 being the average range. Ultimately, it's up to the bride and bridal shower host to make the final decision.
The difference between bridal and wedding showers is pretty simple. The bridal shower is designed for just you and the girls while the wedding shower is a co-ed party where the bride and groom both get showered with gifts and love.
When should you send out shower invitations? For both bridal and baby showers, Katrina Hutchins, owner of Katrina Hutchins Events, recommends sending out invitations six to eight weeks in advance.
Is it rude to invite someone to a bachelorette party but not the wedding?
This is totally unacceptable. You should send out wedding invitations to everyone who attended your bachelorette party. Even if they are a lot of fun, you shouldn't invite them to your bachelor/bachelorette party if you aren't also inviting them to the wedding.
It is common for Bridesmaids, mom and mother-in-laws to be invited to all showers.
The Traditional Bridal Shower Host
The maid of honor traditionally takes on the role of chief shower planner. But she isn't a one-woman show: She relies on the bridesmaids to help her with planning logistics. On the day of, the girls run the party, making sure everything goes smoothly and that guests are taken care of.
- Stick With Your Clique. ...
- Overdo the Beverages. ...
- Go Overboard With Social Media. ...
- Turn Your Nose Up at Games or Activities. ...
- Be Critical. ...
- Show Any Sign of Disappointment or Confusion During the Gift Opening. ...
- Forget to Say "Thank You"—A Lot.
Traditional etiquette dictates that the maid of honor—not the mother of the bride—should host the shower.
It's absolutely appropriate for the host to list your registry information on your bridal shower invitations. The scoop on where you're registered will naturally spread from your shower guests to your wedding guests, trust us!
It's totally up to you and your fiancé to decide whether he will attend the bridal shower. Modern etiquette suggests that he show up toward the end of the shower to say hello and help stock up the car full of gifts. Some men even drop in for a few fun games.
The answer is “yes, you absolutely can!”. According to the traditional etiquette, it is absolutely okay to invite a small number of guests to the wedding ceremony and have more guests attend the reception. On the other hand, everyone who's present at the ceremony should also be invited to the reception.
Every woman who has received a baby or bridal shower invitation has, at one time or another, had to decline the invitation. This can be a touchy situation, especially if the honoree is a close friend or relative. It is best to be honest and polite.
Your question isn't silly at all! Many showers are a surprise (even if it's a surprise the bride knows is coming), so the bride doesn't get an invite. Even if she knows about the shower, it's understood that as the guest of honor, she'll be there (you, as hostess, will make sure of that!).
Can you still have a bridal shower if you're eloping?
The elopement could take place anywhere, from a local courthouse to a luxury resort in the Caribbean. So, when it comes to bridal showers and elopements, people are bending the old rules, too. The consensus: Whether or not the elopement is a secret, it's perfectly fine to have a bridal shower.
If your invitation did not include a plus-one, under no circ*mstances should you arrive at a wedding with an uninvited guest. If the person who was originally going to attend with you is not coming, ask the couple if you can bring someone else instead.
How much money should you give for a wedding shower? The appropriate amount of money to give as a bridal shower gift is the same as the amount you would spend on a tangible present: $50–$75. Give the couple as much as you can comfortably afford within that range.
Weichelt says bridal showers should ideally last between two and four hours. Anything shorter and guests will feel like they didn't have a chance to spend time with the bride; anything longer and they'll be itching to head home. Three hours might just be the sweet spot, then.
However, you'll need to spend more at a bridal shower if you want guests to have the best experience. A budget of $30 to $100 per person is reasonable. This would make the average cost of catering for thirty-five guests around $1050-$3500, or $1500-$5000 for fifty guests.
These days, just about anyone can throw the bridal shower. However, the event is usually hosted by the maid-of-honor, bridesmaids, or the bride or groom's mother.
Most bridal showers are usually held three weeks to three months before the wedding. The trick is not to plan it too far in advance or too close to the wedding date.
Enter the modern equivalent to a traditional bridal shower: the groom roast. As known as a man shower, bro bath, groom shower, or guy gathering; the groom roast is a “shower”-type event where the groom is surrounded by important men in his life, celebrating, and having a little fun.
Typically, bridal showers are more family-oriented, with a wider range of invitees, especially older family members and family friends, while the bachelorette invite list is focused on close friends and the bridal party. The wedding party and close friends are invited to both the bridal shower and bachelorette.
It entirely depends on your dynamic with your mother. If you feel extremely comfortable and your bridesmaids agree, you can call your mother to your bachelorette party. However, if you don't want your mom to be there, you need to be upfront and honest with her.
Is it weird to invite non bridesmaids to bachelorette party?
You can invite anyone that you want to your bachelorette party—don't think you're relegated to only your bridesmaids (unless, of course, that's what you want).
Traditionally, the mother of the bride doesn't host the bridal shower (the maid of honor typically assumes the chief shower-planning role), however, your daughter will likely want you to be a part of the celebration.
Does the mother of the bride pay for the bridal shower? Short answer: no. She can help financially if she wants to, but she isn't usually the host of the shower.
As the mother of the bride, you've likely been tasked with giving a speech not only at your daughter's wedding, but also at her bridal shower. This is a great opportunity to truly highlight your daughter and speak about the relationship you two share.
That's why it's so important to create a budget before starting to plan the shower. The total budget is typically split up evenly among those who are hosting (the maid of honor and bridesmaids, usually), but it's important that everyone is comfortable with the suggested amount.
Traditionally speaking, the mother of the groom is responsible for planning and hosting the rehearsal dinner with the grooms' father (typically) the night before the wedding. This is one of the biggest mother of the groom responsibilities, so make sure you start planning the dinner about six months in advance.
The maid of honor, along with the rest of the bridal party, is expected to cover all wedding attire costs. This includes the dress (plus any necessary alterations), shoes, and any jewelry you'll be wearing the day of. Occasionally, the bride will gift her bridesmaids with whatever accessories she wants them to wear.
Avoid wearing white, black, or anything that may detract from the wedding festivities. Bridal showers can range from formality, location, and season, so be sure to dress to fit the occasion.
- Plan Activities. Play classic bridal shower games, make your own flower crowns or decorate cookies—whatever your preferred activity, offer more than just sitting around and chatting. ...
- Go Somewhere Unique. You're not obligated to sit on the back patio or stake out your parents' country club. ...
- Open Gifts Later. ...
- Make It Coed.
By choosing to wear color, you avoid breaking the main rule of all bridal celebrations: don't wear white. That's the bride's color range, so that includes beiges, creams, and anything in that color family. And unless explicitly stated, you shouldn't try and match the bridal party to the exact shade either.
Is it bad to invite people to bridal shower but not wedding?
The answer? No, negative, nein, non, not ok. Etiquette says that you can't invite someone to your bridal shower (and expect them to give a gift) but not invite them to the wedding. It's a major faux pas.
Basic Information for All Invitations
You'll want to let your guests know the purpose of the event (if there is one), the time (start and end), the place, special instructions (for example, costume party), and style (formal or casual). You should also ask your guests to RSVP so you are better able to plan.
- Personal gifts. ...
- Too many expensive items. ...
- Items for the wedding. ...
- Things you'll never really use. ...
- Things you intend on returning. ...
- Items meant for someone else. ...
- Too-trendy items. ...
- The same thing from different retailers.
It is not rude to share a baby registry without a baby shower, especially if you use the strategies that we shared in this article. Rest assured that your loved ones want to help! Think about your family and friends, their needs and preferences, and the options provided in this article.
Typically, we advise couples to only invite wedding guests to pre-wedding celebrations such as your wedding shower and bachelorette party. However…if you're having a very small wedding, with just a few witnesses, it's perfectly acceptable to celebrate with friends and family who won't be at the wedding.
The Wedding Guru says: This is a strange situation. It's proper etiquette to invite the significant others of the invitee, so a spouse, fiancé, or partner should be invited. This holds true even if the significant other isn't known by the bride or the groom. This omission could have been an oversight.
While there are certain situations that make it acceptable to invite some guests to the ceremony and reception and others to just the reception alone, you should never do the opposite. Inviting someone to your ceremony and not to the reception would most likely hurt their feelings, so you shouldn't even consider it.
Typically, the Maid of Honor and bridesmaids split the cost of the bachelorette party. The bride's expenses (including her drinks, meals, and transportation) are split evenly between the bridal party.
Yes, you do typically have a bridal shower as well as a bachelorette party. You can have your bridal shower on a different day than your bachelorette, or combine your bachelorette party and bridal shower.
Standard etiquette dictates the person hosting the shower would be the one who pays for it. However, if multiple people are hosting the shower (or if multiple people want to contribute to the event), that's absolutely fine too. From decor to food, all the ideas you need to shower the nearly-newlywed.
What should you not wear to a bridal shower?
Don't wear something that's too day-to-day casual, like jeans and a t-shirt. Instead, use this opportunity to get dressed up to celebrate. Don't wear anything too formal, and definitely don't wear anything that could overshadow the bride.
The standard amount to spend on a bridal shower gift is around $50-$75. If you're invited to a bridal shower but not particularly close with the bride, expect to spend at least $25. Regular friends, co-workers, or distant family members should consider spending up to $75 if they have the budget to spare.
