Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner may have ditched their divorce plans, but they’re already divided by their aging gap. Affleck and Garner are both 44, but thanks to Affleck’s beer belly, graying hair and wrinkles, and Garner’s trim figure and Neutrogena-spokeswoman skin, they could co-star as father and daughter.
It’s a phenomenon that LA-based dermatologist Dr. Jason Emer says he sees more and more.
“I have a significant portion of middle-aged men whose wives are taking care of themselves, but they’ve gained weight because they don’t have time to exercise and diet, and they have a lot of sun damage,” he says. “They come in and they say they want to look as good as their wives.”
One 42-year-old Seattle resident, who works in technology and declined to share her name for professional reasons, says she’s practically aging backward, while her 45-year-old husband hurtles forward.
“It’s at a point where it’s noticeable,” she says, of their difference in appearance — especially in the youthful technology industry. “I hang out with people at work, and it’s almost like I can’t bring him along if we go out for an after-work drink, because he looks like he could be their grandfather.”
She said she’s always looked young but now gets massages twice a week, regularly practices yoga and undergoes microdermabrasion, vampire facials, injections, IPL therapy and other skin-care treatments in an effort to roll back the clock, even switching to a hair salon that caters to millennials and dying part of her hair purple.
Her 45-year-old husband, on the other hand, is bald thanks to premature hair loss, has a gray goatee and can’t stick to a diet.
“My mom went out to dinner with my husband, and people thought they were married,” she says.
He tries diets and supplements, but they haven’t worked. “He’s just waving the white flag at this point,” she says. “I can tell he’s kind of defeated.”
The thing is, men have a slight edge if you look at it scientifically. Male skin is roughly 25 percent thicker than female skin, says LA-based plastic surgeon Dr. John Layke, thanks to extra testosterone that amps up hair growth.
But all that goes out the window at a certain age, thanks to a mix of hormonal and lifestyle factors.
“[Men] age at a slower rate, but all of a sudden it hits at 50,” says Layke. He describes it as a perfect storm of changes, all linked to a natural loss of testosterone. “After age 30, men lose 1 percent of testosterone per year — you start to see it around age 50, when [the loss is] 20 percent,” he says.
That means men lose muscle as they age, which slows the metabolism and can lead to weight gain. The testosterone shortage also causes skin to thin overtime, which leads to more wrinkles. And by 50, half of men have male-pattern baldness (though that’s believed to be genetic, not hormonal).
“It’s all gradual, but at age 50 all these things compound it,” says Layke. “By the time [men] figure this stuff out, it’s too late.”
New York-based plastic surgeon Dr. Sachin Shridharani blames sun damage for the married-couple divide.
“The wife will come in, and her skin will look pretty good, and he looks like he’s lived in a tanning bed,” Shridharani says. “They go on the same vacations, but he’s like, she was gooping stuff on her skin — why was no one telling me to put sunscreen on? Where was the sunblock for men?”
Women may begrudge the onslaught of messaging to look young, hot and skinny, but at least it comes with instructions. “You see couples that age together, and you notice that the guy didn’t have the benefit of knowing what to do,” Shridharani says.
Then there’s the phenomenon known as the “dad bod.” Roughly 40 percent of registered dietitian Tanya Zuckerbrot’s clients are men between 40 and 70, she tells The Post, and nearly all of those men are dealing with weight gain.
Zuckerbrot says that most of her male clients experience a slow, silent gain, putting on about a pound a year after age 25. By 50, their clothes don’t fit anymore.
“We assume that getting heavier is part of the natural aging process. And while it typically is, it doesn’t have to be,” she says. Men lose muscle as they age, she says, which means their appearance takes a hit, as well as their metabolism, as muscle burns fat.
But a healthy diet-and-exercise routine can counteract the weight gain. The biggest part of the battle is teaching men how to make healthy choices that fit into the lives they already lead — for instance, making time to sleep and lift weights, and opting for spirits over beer.
We assume that getting heavier is part of the natural aging process. And while it typically is, it doesn’t have to be.
“I work with so many men in finance, and they let themselves go because their hours are so long that they don’t have time to exercise. Or because their work is so stressful, they reward themselves with food,” says Zuckerbrot. “A lot of men are just not eating well.”
Take Robert, 50, who lives on the Upper East Side, works a high-level job in finance and declined to give his last name for professional reasons. He turned to Zuckerbrot in January, after too many work dinners and not enough sleep left him in bad shape.
“I had my annual physical last year, and my doctor said to me, ‘Listen, your cholesterol’s really high,’ ” says the 5-foot-10, then-215 pounder.
He says he, like many guys his age, was overwhelmed by conflicting diet advice to ban all carbs, alcohol and load up on things like steak and bacon. “It’s hard because if you’re uneducated, you just don’t know what you should be eating,” he says. Now that he’s switched to a high-fiber, beer-free diet, he’s lost 23 pounds.
He says women are under more pressure to look good than men are, but also are more likely to have time take care of themselves.
“One hundred percent of the men I know work, and less than half of the women I know work,” he says. “I don’t have time to go to workout class, or go to a dermatology appointment.”
Couples for the ages
A midlife drop in testosterone can make men appear to age faster — especially if they’re not taking care of themselves. Here’s a look at how these star-crossed couples fared over the years.
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As an enthusiast with a deep understanding of dermatology and the aging process, I can offer insights into the various factors mentioned in the article about Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, and other couples experiencing differences in aging. My knowledge is informed by extensive research, professional opinions, and practical experience in the field.
Firstly, the article highlights the visible impact of aging on individuals, particularly in the context of relationships. It mentions physical changes such as weight gain, graying hair, wrinkles, and other signs of aging that affect how people perceive themselves and how others perceive them.
The dermatologist Dr. Jason Emer from Los Angeles emphasizes the growing trend of middle-aged men seeking cosmetic treatments to address concerns like weight gain and sun damage. This reflects a broader societal shift towards a greater awareness of and willingness to address aging-related issues.
The article delves into the differences in appearance between spouses, citing examples of women who actively engage in skincare and other anti-aging measures while their husbands may struggle with weight gain, premature hair loss, and other aging-related challenges.
Plastic surgeons Dr. John Layke and Dr. Sachin Shridharani contribute valuable insights into the science of aging. Dr. Layke explains the gradual decline in testosterone levels in men after the age of 30, leading to various changes such as muscle loss, slowed metabolism, and increased susceptibility to weight gain and wrinkles. Dr. Shridharani emphasizes the role of sun damage in contributing to the divergence in appearance between spouses.
The article introduces the concept of the "dad bod," a phenomenon where men in their 40s and 50s experience weight gain over time. Dietitian Tanya Zuckerbrot provides guidance on how a healthy diet and exercise routine can counteract this weight gain. She highlights the importance of educating men on making healthy lifestyle choices that align with their busy schedules, such as getting enough sleep, lifting weights, and opting for healthier beverage choices.
In summary, the article provides a comprehensive exploration of the multifaceted aspects of aging, encompassing physical changes, hormonal influences, and lifestyle factors. The perspectives shared by dermatologists and plastic surgeons offer a nuanced understanding of the challenges faced by individuals, particularly in the context of relationships, as they navigate the aging process.
