Why is the quarter plate placed on your left? (2024)

Why do temples have no congregational space? (Unlike the worshipper in church, mosque and gurdwara, why does the Hindu pray alone? Will changing the architecture introduce social contract?)

Would it be heretical if a muezzin were trained to sing his azan in the time-appropriate raga?

(For instance, if he could sing in Bhairav for the fajr namaz before dawn.)

Why do Indians form a mob at the boarding gate when all airplane tickets are numbered?

(I speculated it was to ensure they got space for cabin baggage, but even those without any bags make the dash.)

Why can India’s airlines serve alcohol on international routes but not on domestic ones?

(You can’t have a drink on the 3-hour flight from Kolkata to Ahmedabad but you can on the 40-minute one from Kolkata to Dhaka. That is strange.)

Why are pillion riders exempt from the helmet rule?

(The person at the back isn’t safer than the motorcyclist, so it makes no sense to have the rule only for the person in front.)

Why is the quarter plate placed to your left in restaurants that serve Indian food?

(It is the receptacle for the roti or naan, which Indians eat with their right hand. Why is it in the wrong place?)

Why do waiters ask “Would you like regular or bottled water"?

(Isn’t it more efficient to just pour regular unless the customer asks for bottled? Surely they can’t be making that much money from those too embarrassed to say “regular".)

What is the purpose of dust jackets on books?

(They are from a time when the binding was leather or another fancy material. Today’s hardbacks are bound in cardboard. What is the jacket intended to protect?)

Why do people telephone and ask “Is this a good time to talk?" when they can both find out and not disturb you by sending an SMS?

Why are Kolkata’s policemen made to wear gumboots and whites in a city that is warm and dusty?

Is the service charge that some restaurants demand distributed among the staff in full?

(Someone told me the solution was to ask the waiter who brings the bill this question.)

What are independent tailors doing now?

(Are the millions of men who stitched clothes for the middle class till a few years ago employed in a different trade?)

Why do call centre employees retrieving data say, “I sincerely apologize for keeping you waiting," when they were doing their job and that exchange only keeps you waiting longer?

(I know it’s formal politeness but nothing else in our society reflects this. It sounds unnatural for her to say this and for me to say “That’s quite all right" when it isn’t.)

Are Gujaratis west Indians?

(Hindustan ended at the river Tapi, from where Dakshin began, and some draw the line farther to the north, at the Narmada. Surat is on the Tapi’s south bank. Does that make Surtis south Indians?)

Why are Indian roads never paved all the way to the sides?

(The dirt tracks aren’t deliberate, so why are they there?)

Why do firms sending unsolicited emails say “Unsubscribe to be removed from this list" when you haven’t subscribed in the first place?

(Subscribe means “sign on for", but that isn’t true here.)

Why doesn’t the passport office accept your expiring passport as proof of residence?

(This is often remarked on, but does someone know why one has to go through the process again?)

Is India’s nuclear programme run with the same efficiency with which the government runs the passport office and the police station?

What is the minimum required reading for a man to be considered civilized?

(Is there a list? If so, what is it? Does it include Darwin and Newton? Should Indians know classical European texts as well as classical Indian ones or is just one or the other fine? Or neither?)

Is journalism a profession or a trade?

(In the years I worked from an office I considered it a profession, like banking or bureaucracy. But now I think it is a trade, like carpentry, tailoring or plumbing, the selling of a small skill.)

Aakar Patel is a writer and a columnist.

Also Read | Aakar’s previous Lounge columns

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Published: 20 Apr 2013, 12:18 AM IST