In an era of aggressive marketing toward kids and parents alike, many parents wonder what kids actually need. Turns out, there's a pretty clear answer.
"Years of research in child development have identified eight essential requirements for kids to become happy, successful adults," says Harley Rotbart, MD, a nationally-renowned parenting expert and vice chair emeritus of Pediatrics at Children's Colorado. "And none of them involve high-tech gadgets, video games or fancy clothes."
The eight things kids need to thrive
Security
Kids must feel safe and sound, with their basic survival needs met: shelter, food, clothing, medical care and protection from harm.
Stability
Stability comes from family and community. Ideally, a family remains together in a stable household, but when that's not possible, it's important to disrupt the child's life as little as possible. Kids and families should be a part of larger units to give them a sense of belonging, tradition and cultural continuity.
Consistency
No "good cop, bad cop." Parents should synchronize their parenting and make sure important values stay consistent.
Emotional support
Parents' words and actions should encourage kids' trust, respect, self-esteem and, ultimately, independence.
Love
Saying and showing you love your kids can overcome almost any parenting "mistakes" you might make. Even when your kids have disobeyed, angered, frustrated and rebelled against you, show them you love them and that you'll always love them.
Education
Make sure your kids get the best possible education for their future. This includes school, of course, but it also includes the invaluable life lessons you provide during the time you spend together.
Positive role models
Parents are their kids' first and most important role models. Instill your values and teach children empathy by being the kind of person you want them to become.
Structure
Rules, boundaries, and limits: Without them, kids are forced to be adults before they are ready, and they lose respect for you and other adults.
The "miracle solution": kids need time
Perhaps the most important factor of all is time. Without enough time to spend with kids and be a parent, "You miss out on the wonderful privileges of parenting," Dr. Rotbart says. "And kids miss out on some of their needs."
The converse is also true.
"Time is the miracle solution for most dilemmas of parenthood," says Dr. Rotbart. "Taken in minutes or hours, the time you spend with your kids gives you the opportunity to provide your kids all their essential needs — and much more."
Learn Dr. Rotbart's advice for creating quality time with your kids.
FAQs
Kids must feel safe and sound, with their basic survival needs met: shelter, food, clothing, medical care and protection from harm.
What are the three 3 basic needs that children have? ›
A child's basic needs include their physical, emotional, and mental well-being. All children need their basic needs met in order to thrive throughout childhood and adulthood.
What do children need most from their parents? ›
Children need care that promotes positive emotional health and well-being and that supports their overall mental health, including a positive sense of self, as well as the ability to cope with stressful situations, temper emotional arousal, overcome fears, and accept disappointments and frustrations.
What is toxic stress? ›
However, stress that is prolonged, severe, or chronic, can cause significant problems with health and development. (Franke, 2014). Such stress, that itself creates additional challenges for a person's functioning, is toxic stress (Harvard University Center for the Developing Child, n.d.).
What makes your child happy? ›
Cultivate your child's healthy habits
Lots of sleep, exercise, and a healthy diet are important to everyone's well-being, especially children's. For exercise, your child doesn't have to be on a soccer team: Just running around outside helps children with their moods.
What does a 7 year old need? ›
Your 7-year-old is looking and acting older, but he still needs your guidance. His language and math proficiency are growing along with his physical prowess. Continue to read to him, and encourage his curiosity with simple science experiments and museum visits. Teach him to be a good sport.
What are the psychological needs of a child? ›
Give children unconditional love.
Love, security and acceptance should be at the heart of family life. Children need to know that your love does not depend on his or her accomplishments. Mistakes and/or defeats should be expected and accepted. Confidence grows in a home that is full of unconditional love and affection.
What are the 4 family needs? ›
Needs of family members. There are two types of family needs, basic needs and secondary needs. Basic needs are those things that people need in order to survive. These include shelter, food, clothing, water and air.
What are 3 basic needs of life? ›
Human beings have certain basic needs. We must have food, water, air, and shelter to survive. If any one of these basic needs is not met, then humans cannot survive. Before past explorers set off to find new lands and conquer new worlds, they had to make sure that their basic needs were met.
What do children need more than adults? ›
The bodies of children are in high gear, busy growing, developing and maturing all the various organs and systems that eventually turn them into adults. Children have greater needs for energy, water and oxygen as they go through growth processes.
Effective communication skills are essential for building meaningful connections and navigating social interactions, both of which are crucial aspects of a child's development. Moreover, validating children's feelings contributes to the development of empathy and understanding.
What a child needs from a mother? ›
Love your child and show them love through actions, such as hugs, spending time with them and listening to them. Be a safe haven. Children raised by parents who respond consistently will have a better social and emotional development. Talk with your child, as this helps their brain integrate.
What does an only child need? ›
It doesn't matter how much attention you lavish upon an only child; sometimes, they just need someone their own age to relate to. That's why, when having an only child, social activities need to be arranged more often, starting when they are around 18 months of age, says J.
What is the best for every child? ›
The 'best for every child' means making sure that every child has the same opportunity to learn and do their best.
