The real purpose of gift giving (2024)

During this holiday season, you may find yourself in search of that perfect gift for those special someones on your list — from sweaters, jewelry or toys to the newest smart phones or latest tech gadgets.

Gift giving can be daunting, all too often leaving folks in a flurry and tizzy striving to show their care and love. However, underlying our gift custom is an important purpose — appreciation. We give people gifts to show them we are grateful for them and value the role they play in our lives. We treasure their purpose. And that is where the magic is!

As a medical doctor, I understand — and I have seen firsthand the great physical and psychological benefits as we give (and receive) — sharing in gratitude the value of those special people in our lives. The benefits are profoundly deep and wide as it provides more clarity to the recipients and allows them to see themselves in the “greater scheme of things,” which can help strengthen their resilience to adverse moments of life.

And the benefits don’t stop there. Giving also supports the development of commitment and dedication to their uniqueness and purpose. Having a strong sense of life purpose is an important dimension of life, providing people with a sense of vitality, motivation and resilience — and helping to contribute to better health overall. In short, purpose offers definite emotional, psychological and physical benefits.

Did you know that only about 1 in 4 American adults cite having a clear sense of purpose about what makes their lives meaningful? And in actuality, gifts don’t express appreciation — people do. And when people don’t express it, neither do their gifts. I’m not suggesting gift-giving rituals aren’t important. Quite the opposite — they are. Especially when given with your words of appreciation.

Dr. Nina’s what you need to know about: real meaning of gift giving — appreciation and life purpose

Understanding a sense of purpose: In the English language, life purpose is described as the quality of having a definite purpose; a reason for being; purposefulness; meaningfulness; and the quality of having great value or significance.

You feel it during moments when you felt truly connected, like you were performing a task you were made for — maybe when you were organizing, parenting, caring for animals, comforting a sick loved one, developing business plans, caring for others, writing, speaking or creating a piece of art or music. It is likely this was a moment of being in harmony with your purpose.

Purpose is personal and molded by personal belief systems and values, disregarding outside expectations. It is within each of us — uniquely embodying and exemplifying positive characteristics. For some people, purpose is connected to their family, friends or vocation — providing meaningful, satisfying work. For others, their purpose lies in their responsibilities to their animals and community work. Others seek meaning through spirituality or religious beliefs.

Why giving the sense of purpose is important? Sharing with others how they have touched your life is a great motivator. That person grows in understanding of how their life has touched others and helped to inspire and build them up — providing happiness and joy to them in their journey.

Greater understanding of purpose helps people prioritize situations, plans, people and things — while becoming more resilient to adversity and maintaining forward trajectory (“keep going”) even when things get tough or there are distractors. It helps put things in perspective.

Understanding purpose leads to a healthier life: A recent, significant study assessing the purpose of over 1,000 adults found that those with a good sense of meaning in their lives spent more time and attention on their loved ones and communities. They consistently reported they experience a “deep sense of joy, harmony and meaning.” These positive emotions and feelings translate to better physical and mental health — after all, our mind, body and soul are intricately entwined. Perhaps it is because positivity blocks, buffers, drowns out or dissipates negative ones such as stress, anxiety, resentment, bitterness and anger.

Another research study published in Applied Physiology showed that individuals with a sense of purpose, a sense of control and feeling like what they do is worthwhile, tend to live longer lives — and by a lot! Those who demonstrated the strongest well-being were 30 percent less likely to die during the 8.5-year followup period.

And there are numerous studies showing the positive feelings that result from having a strong sense of purpose are linked to:

• fewer heart attacks and strokes (leading killers among Americans)

• better quality and quantity of sleep

• a lower risk of dementia, including Alzheimer’s

• handling pain better

• a better connection to others and preventing isolation (which can lead to loneliness, a lack of emotional support and inability to cope with stressful events)

• improved resilience (and long-term resilience can lead to better cardiovascular health, less worry and greater happiness over time)

• greater engagement with their families, colleagues and neighbors, enjoying more satisfying relationships and activities as a result

• a more active lifestyle

Giving the gift of gratitude: There is a common misconception in gift-giving which can translate to, the bigger or the more valuable the gift, the more it expresses appreciation. But this is not true. It may be fun or even needed at a time — but again, the fact is gifts don’t express appreciation, people do. And when people don’t express it, neither do their gifts.

The best way to express your appreciation — while giving the gift and building understanding of that person’s value and gift to your life, is by using your words. There is no more powerful way to acknowledge others than to share your thankfulness for them — with words of gratitude of how they have impacted your life for the better. You don’t have to address everything. Think about what you do appreciate about that person and describe that part. Or let them know what about them you admire or makes you smile. And if possible, personally hand them your note with a thank you), handshake or hug (whichever is appropriate).

Knowing your purpose: Along with recognizing others, it is important to understand your purpose in life. Purpose guides your life decisions, influences behavior, shapes goals, offers a sense of direction and creates meaning. Please know there’s no reason for you to be contemplating the cosmic significance of your life but rather discovering what feels important to you. Experts offer these thoughts on understanding your purpose:

• Identify your passion such as music, the arts, running, cooking and turn that into something meaningful to you. Volunteer with an orchestra, run in a fundraising marathon or cook for the elderly or the homeless.

• Surround yourself with positive people, people who have a sense of purpose and are making a positive change. It is contagious and inspiring. Conversely, being around negative people who have a problem for every solution makes it challenging to find your purpose (or stay committed to it).

• Know that when you are asking, “What is my life purpose?” you’re actually asking, “What can I do with my time that is important?” And, make note of how you answer that question — journaling is very helpful. Sign up for an art class? Join a book club? Get another degree? Join or spearhead a group that can save thousands of lives in rural Africa or America? Spend more time with family, animals or friends? If it strikes your fancy, write down a few answers and then go out and actually do them.

• Another question is, when you leave the house — who do you want to go with? And where do you want to go?

I read some time ago that, “Understanding what you’re passionate about in life and what matters to you is a contact sport, a trial-and-error process. None of us know exactly how we feel about an activity until we actually do the activity.” And thanking others with your words will help them in the most significant of ways.