Yes. Many children like to try out this little trick — and if imitation is truly the sincerest form of flattery, you should feel very flattered.
"Children hear their parents and other adults calling each other by their first names and they want to mimic them," says Darshak Sanghavi, an assistant professor at the University of Massachusetts Medical School and author of A Map of the Child: A Pediatrician's Tour of the Body.
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When your child does this, she is "playing at" adulthood, in the same way as when she industriously stacks her "work papers." She may even laugh when she uses your name, because she realizes it's a twist on the way things are usually done — just as she may laugh if you pretend to brush your hair with your toothbrush.
Hearing your child pipe up with "Joan, please pass the water" may be a little disconcerting. But remember that compared to other issues, it's relatively small beans.
If it doesn't bother you too much, Sanghavi suggests that you downplay the whole thing, responding to your child as you usually do until the phase extinguishes itself. (Even if this behavior does bother you, try not to get upset about it in front of your child — getting a big reaction could encourage her to continue.)
On the other hand, if you're not comfortable being "Joan" to your child — or if this is continuing for a longer period of time than you can tolerate — let your child know that she needs to call you "Mom," or whatever your preferred title is.
"Explain that you like having a special name in the family and that your children are the only ones who have a chance to use it. Emphasize the special nature of your relationship," says Sanghavi.
You can also use this opportunity to talk with your child about how to address adults. It could be fun for her to discuss all the different names she has for the grown-ups in her life, and why these names and titles are different for different people — her preschool teacher is "Ms. Graham," your best friend is simply "Sheila," her aunt is "Auntie Elizabeth," and her grandfather is "Papa."
And don't worry. Eventually, the novelty of calling you by your first name will wear off and your child will move on to a brand-new behavioral challenge.
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FAQs
Yes. Many children like to try out this little trick — and if imitation is truly the sincerest form of flattery, you should feel very flattered.
What does it mean when a child calls a parent by their first name? ›
Kids sometimes call their parents by their first name because they have a more casual, friend-like relationship with their parents. In other words, their relationship with their parents is much less formal than others who call their parents by Mom and Dad, Mother and Father, etc.
What to do when your 4 year old calls you names? ›
Teach how name-calling hurts people and that it's not a nice thing to do. Sometimes, even saying the word, “Ouch,” when your child calls you a name can reinforce that it hurts your feelings. Remind your child of the rules when they call someone names. Say, "We use kind words in our family and those words are not kind."
Should children call adults by their first names? ›
Lizzie Post, co-president of the Emily Post Institute and an etiquette expert told "Good Morning America" that kids should call people what they want to be called. "Defaulting to the formal is always appropriate until told otherwise," Post said. "So, if you're unsure, use 'Mrs. ' or 'Ms.
At what age can a child tell you their name? ›
While your baby may recognize their name as early as 4 to 6 months, saying their name and the names of others may take until somewhere between 18 months and 24 months. Your baby saying their full name at your request is a milestone they'll likely reach between 2 and 3 years old.
Why does my 4 year old call me by my first name? ›
"Children hear their parents and other adults calling each other by their first names and they want to mimic them," says Darshak Sanghavi, an assistant professor at the University of Massachusetts Medical School and author of A Map of the Child: A Pediatrician's Tour of the Body.
Is it rude to call your parents by their first name? ›
Maria Everding of The Etiquette Institute has a good guideline: “If the person is old enough to be your parent, use an honorific, until that person tells you to call them by their first name.” In business, err on the side of formality. The other person can always say, “Please call me, (first name).” No harm, no foul.
Why does my 3 year old call me by my first name? ›
They are doing the mimic game.
Your child might be calling you by your first name instead of “Dad” or “Mom” because they've been hearing it inside the house. According to specialists, “Children hear their parents and other adults calling each other by their first names, and they want to mimic them.”
Do some autistic toddlers respond to their name? ›
One of the most consistently documented behaviors in infancy that distinguishes children later diagnosed with autism from those with typical development, or developmental delays, is a decreased tendency to respond to name.
What to do when 5 year old calls you names? ›
Let him know that name-calling is not OK
This may be an obvious suggestion, but it is important that you are clear about your expectations. Let him know that disrespect and name-calling is not something that will be tolerated in your family. Be assertive. Firm and clear.
Teachers should not be addressed by their first names, especially when children are nearby. It sets an example of respect for students when they hear parents address teachers by their surnames. Teachers follow schedules.
Is it good to call someone by their first name? ›
So if it's a business occasion, it's most often that you refer the person by surname. If it's a social occasion and you know the person, and the bond is good, you can refer the person by his or her name. It's not rude or polite. It's just very subjective.
Is it normal to mix up your kids names? ›
“Across five studies, surveying over 1,700 participants, our research found that this is a natural and very common cognitive glitch. More than half of those surveyed had experienced being called by the wrong name by someone familiar to them, and 95% were called the incorrect name by a family member.”
Do 4 year olds know their name? ›
Your 4-year-old now
In fact, your child's name may be the first word he learns to recognize and read. Around age 4, he'll probably start to show an interest in writing his name, too. (Kids with short names have an advantage here, but even those with longer names will probably try.)
Do ADHD kids respond to names? ›
“Children with ADHD may struggle socially, but with ADHD alone, markers of early social development, such as turn-taking play, gesture language, responding to names, and imaginative play, are usually intact.
Should a 3 year old know their name? ›
After 18 months, baby will go through a language explosion, and by 24 months, toddlers will be able to speak up to 100 words, including their name. At the latest, children should be able to say their first name by the time they're 3 years old, and write it by age 5.
Is it rude to call your mum by her name? ›
NO! People call their parents their own different nicknames, so don't think it's weird! It really depends on your mom's preference. If she is bothered by you calling her by her first name, then don't.
What do 6 year olds call their parents? ›
We typically call their parents "Mom" and "Dad" due to a natural linguistic development where the simple and instinctual sounds "ma" and "pa" are among the first babies articulate. Once children are adults, they continue to use "Mom" and "Dad" due to its reinforcement of family roles.
Why does my child refer to himself with his name? ›
This is part of the progression of language development. Your toddler's first true sentences will likely include their name rather than “I” or “me.” Most parents naturally stop using the third person as their children begin to understand pronouns.
