Whether you have a gluten intolerance, dairy allergy, aversion to cilantro, or just really like the corner booth, chances are you've put in a special request at least once when dining out. While some asks can be cringe-worthy (a certain Portlandia skit involving local chicken comes to mind), it is entirely possible to have your needs met without pissing off the waitstaff, chef, and cooks in the process. We spoke to some industry professionals about what to do—and what not to—when negotiating a special favor from your server. Here's how to get it right (and get what you want).
Make the Ask as Soon as Possible
"If at all possible," says Erin Wilson, front of house manager at The National in Athens, GA, "let the restaurant know about your needs when making the reservation." This goes for more than just dietary restrictions. Want a special table? That's easy, provided the staff has time to arrange the dining room's seating chart accordingly. Bear in mind that just because a table is empty when you walk in, doesn't mean it's not reserved for ten or 20 minutes later; what looks free may not always be. Need a birthday candle to appear at dessert? Don't put them on the spot as you polish off the main course. Most requests are surprisingly doable when made in advance. It's the in-the-moment scramble that makes things stressful and difficult.
Daniel Myers, co-owner of Loyal Nine (one of our Top 50 Best New Restaurants 2015), agrees. "We don't need to know about special requests months in advance; it can be as simple as a phone call or e-mail a day or two before." Letting the kitchen know about your dietary preferences and restrictions ahead of time will set you up for success in ways you might not have even considered. Myers cites this example: "If you let us know you're a vegan, we can make sure not to cook our turnips in chicken stock when we prep them that morning."
Your servers aim to please, but please—don't make their lives miserable. Photo: Dylan + Jeni
Be as Thorough as Possible
Your dining companions may know the ins and outs of your restrictions and preferences. Your server won't. It's up to you to clearly communicate all of your requests up front. Write everything down if they're complicated or lengthy. Wilson recalls a diner at The National who handed her server a list of "about 20 items" she couldn't (or wouldn't) eat: tomatoes, hard cheeses, alliums (excluding garlic), and peppers (jalapeños were okay)—to name a few. The waitstaff and line cooks had a good laugh, and, Wilson admits, some of the restrictions were probably actually preferences, rather than life-threatening allergies. But, she says, the staff appreciated her thorough and complete explanation. It made their jobs easier, and ensured that she had a great time.
Be Patient
Yes, your server knows you're hungry. But if you're asking for something out of the kitchen's routine tasks, plan on waiting a little longer for your meal. This is especially true during peak service hours (think noon at brunch, or 8 p.m. on a Saturday night). A restaurant kitchen is a well-oiled machine that's set up for maximum efficiency—not surprises.
