How to express your anger at work | Michael Page (2024)

Constructive criticism, creative differences and heated debate in the workplace can be a good thing. Lashing out when you’re angry, however, alienates your colleagues, supervisors or clients and erodes their respect. If you’re poorly dealing with anger at work, this reputation can follow you wherever you go, making it harder and harder to get ahead.

We generally feel angry in response to feeling threatened, hurt, challenged or scared. These feelings help us understand our values or beliefs – what we really care about. An apathetic employee doesn’t get angry about the quality of work, only the person who cares about the job that they are performing will get angry. However, it is important to know how best to express your anger at work.

There are social norms that dictate acceptable ways of expressing the anger. Profanity, threatening statements, belittling remarks, tantrums, throwing things, etc. are not acceptable behavioural expressions in the workplace. Talking about one’s concerns, feelings and frustrations is appropriate and constructive but best done in private. This is how people expect professionals to behave in the workplace.

Here are four tips to help you to deal with anger at work.

1. Take a time out

When you start to feel the anger welling up inside you, step out of the office for 10min and get some fresh air. Give your rational mind a chance to catch up with your emotions.

2. Think before you speak

Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything. Allow others involved in the situation to do the same.

3. Slow down

Listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering. In the heat of the moment we often say things we regret later.

4. Seek help

If you feel like you are losing control of your anger at work, seek help by arranging a meeting with somebody from HR. Many companies have Employee Assistance Programmes (EAPs) that can help with difficulties in and out of the workplace. If an EAP is not available, consider seeking professional help outside of your company.

Although we are socialised to believe that anger is bad, it is an emotion that can be instructive. The positive resolution of conflict and anger is a skill which is vital in the workplace.

For more workplace and career advice, browse the Michael Page Career Centre.

How to express your anger at work | Michael Page (2024)

FAQs

How to express your anger at work | Michael Page? ›

' Directing your frustration at the action and not the employee helps reduce his or her feelings of defensiveness while still allowing you to express your frustration—which will help you both focus on solving the problem. So, next time you're feeling a little miffed at the office, don't swallow that feeling.

How do you express your anger at work? ›

Use these strategies to manage your feelings when you get angry at work:
  1. Acknowledge your anger. ...
  2. Breathe deeply. ...
  3. Talk to someone you trust. ...
  4. Find some space. ...
  5. Consider how someone you respect would handle the situation. ...
  6. Discuss your anger with the parties involved. ...
  7. Develop an action plan. ...
  8. Focus on being happy.
Dec 6, 2022

How to let go of anger and resentment at work? ›

How to Manage Anger at Work: 10 Techniques to Employ
  1. Understand That It's Okay to Get Angry. ...
  2. Think Before You Speak. ...
  3. Walk Away And Take a Few Deep Breaths. ...
  4. Wind Down With Some Exercise. ...
  5. Don't Ignore Negative Emotions. ...
  6. Identify Possible Triggers. ...
  7. Focus on Problem-Solving. ...
  8. Practice Visualization.
May 25, 2023

Is it okay to show frustration at work? ›

' Directing your frustration at the action and not the employee helps reduce his or her feelings of defensiveness while still allowing you to express your frustration—which will help you both focus on solving the problem. So, next time you're feeling a little miffed at the office, don't swallow that feeling.

How to communicate frustration at work? ›

What to say
  1. Write down your talking points. Write down what you want to say and the potential answers you might receive. ...
  2. Stay calm. Remain calm so you can express your emotions in a healthy way to your boss. ...
  3. Explain why you're no longer happy in the position. ...
  4. Offer a solution. ...
  5. Listen.
Mar 16, 2023

Is it OK to express anger at work? ›

Advocating for yourself will improve your circ*mstances and help create a more positive work environment for your whole team. But if you're still wondering, "Is it OK to be angry at work?" the answer is yes. You have to express and feel your emotions.

How to remain calm when angry at work? ›

Ways to Control Your Anger at Work
  1. Don't Fight The Feeling. When anger arises, we're often quick to respond by rationalizing, blaming others or trying desperately to calm ourselves down. ...
  2. Disrupt It. ...
  3. Learn your Triggers. ...
  4. Choose your Words Carefully. ...
  5. Focus on the Solution, Not the Problem.

How to deal with an angry person at work? ›

We asked career and HR experts how to handle angry, volatile co-workers, and they suggest several steps you can take.
  1. Remember the problem is them, not you. ...
  2. Don't try to fix them. ...
  3. Stay cool. ...
  4. Focus on their behavior rather than arguing. ...
  5. Use their name. ...
  6. Take a timeout. ...
  7. Put safety first.
Aug 31, 2015

How do I professionally say I'm frustrated? ›

State your complaint clearly and directly.

Be direct and objective and explain why you're dissatisfied and how you've been affected. Use calm, professional language to convey your feelings and avoid raising your voice or using profanities.

Is it unprofessional to get angry at work? ›

Anger isn't always a bad thing.

Showing anger at work can be, and feel like, taking a risk. Most of us likely don't want to damage a relationship permanently in a fit of rage. But showing your anger shows you care, and that can lead to changes that benefit everyone.

Should I tell boss im unhappy? ›

However, talking to your boss can also reap dividends. If they don't know there's a problem, they can't solve it. Speaking up can win you a better role, a promotion, or more. And, fixing your current work environment is a heck of a lot easier than starting your job search from scratch—so it's worth a shot.

How to express anger professionally? ›

How to express your anger at work
  1. Take a time out. When you start to feel the anger welling up inside you, step out of the office for 10min and get some fresh air. ...
  2. Think before you speak. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything. ...
  3. Slow down. ...
  4. Seek help.

How to tell your boss you're struggling mentally? ›

Here are nine steps for how to talk to your manager about your mental health:
  1. Identify the state of your mental health. ...
  2. Discuss your mental health with your friends or family. ...
  3. Understand what accommodations are available. ...
  4. Remember the conversation is confidential. ...
  5. Request a formal meeting. ...
  6. Decide how much to disclose.
Aug 31, 2023

How do you express frustration without yelling? ›

Dance it out. Dancing can be a great way to express your emotions, especially when they are so powerful that you can physically feel them in your body. Dance to angry music, happy pump-up music, or no music – just get that excess energy out. Do a tough workout.

How do you express frustration professionally? ›

State your complaint clearly and directly.

Tell the person why you're disappointed using specific and unemotional language. Be direct and objective and explain why you're dissatisfied and how you've been affected. Use calm, professional language to convey your feelings and avoid raising your voice or using profanities.

How do I show my boss I have anger? ›

Tell your boss how that situation made you feel.

Express to them the emotion—e.g., anger, confusion, anxiety—and why you felt it. Don't devolve into the actual emotion; do your best to stay calm. But it's okay to let your boss know that you were upset or angry or whatever it was you were feeling.

How can I express my anger in words? ›

Talk about what angered you (again in a clear and objective way). Tell the person how you feel, using “I feel” and “I think” statements. State your needs and what you want as clearly and specifically as possible. Finally, mention how the person will benefit from doing what you need.

How do you express anger in a productive way? ›

8 tips for channeling your anger
  1. Stop to consider why you're angry.
  2. Look for what you can change in the situation.
  3. Identify your emotional sore points.
  4. Discover new boundaries to set.
  5. Use your anger as motivation.
  6. Focus on only what really matters.
  7. Exercise to blow off steam.
  8. Channel your anger into productive action.
Apr 18, 2022

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