One of the trickiest wedding guest list dilemmas!
Making the guest list is probably the wedding chore that couples find to be the most taxing, which is hardly surprising. In family and friend groups, there's always politics at play, and it's shockingly easy for feelings to get hurt. Unfortunately though, your wedding venue doesn't have unlimited capacity, and you don't have unlimited money with which to feed everyone, so lines do have to be drawn somewhere! This is why your cousins often come up for debate, along with those of your partner! We've lost count of the number of times we've been asked, "Do I have to invite cousins to my wedding?" so here, we wanted to offer a definitive answer, once and for all! No, you don't have to invite your cousins, or your partner's cousins to your wedding, if you don't want to. It's your wedding day, and you and your partner should feel free to invite only the people you really want to share the day with. That said, you should take into account the possibility that some cousins may get upset if they aren't invited (but they'll likely get over it in time), and that your parents may get upset that you weren't able to accommodate all of your extended family members, especially if your partner's cousins are invited. It's also worth bearing in mind that it's a nice gesture to invite all of the cousins if you have a good relationship with them, and if it's possible to do so. We know you probably don't want to hear this, but, it depends. It actually depends on several factors; Our chosen method for priorising guests, which we wrote about in this useful post, is to make an A, B, C and D list of all of the people in your life. This may sound cutthroat, but we've found it to be an incredibly efficient way of making guest list-related decisions. In general, cousins fall on the C list, which means that you'd probably like to invite them, but that this may not be possible. So, how do you decide? We suggest proceeding as follows; From here, there are a few options; If you live in Ireland, you may be having extra guests attend the wedding after the meal, but before the dancing, known as The Afters. This is a great way to include all of the cousins in your day when capacity is limited. This usually helps you avoid hurt feelings on the part of the cousins, uncles, aunts and your parents, but not always! That said, it's a great catch-all solution for guests whom you're not sure about inviting. Many people, and crucially, many families, operate an all-or-nothing policy for cousins, which can be really helpful for decision making, but it can also make things incredibly difficult. If, for example, you are extremely close to two of your cousins, and not at all close to the other 10, and you're hoping to get your guest list down to 80 people, an all-or-nothing approach just isn't realistic. If you're able to comfortably invite all of your cousins to your wedding, it's nice to do so, but if your relationship with them is mixed, it's fine to only invite some cousins to the wedding, as long as you're willing to deal with any potential resulting upset within the family. For some couples, it isn't worth the hassle they expect to get from their parents, aunts or uncles. Having trouble making your guest list? This episode of the One Fab Day Wedding Podcast is essential listening!Do I Have to Invite Cousins to My Wedding?: The Short Answer
Do I Have to Invite Cousins to My Wedding?: The Long Answer
A Note on The Afters
OK, But Do I Have to Invite All of My Cousins to My Wedding?
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