published Sep 22, 2009
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For etiquette advice, the last person we’d turn to is Curb Your Enthusiasm’s Larry David, or at least his on-screen persona. But an issue he raised in Sunday’s season premiere got us thinking: Is it bad form to ask a host who else is coming to dinner?
In typical fashion, Larry offended his friends with the question, particularly because he posed it before agreeing to attend the party and made it clear he didn’t really want to be there. It’s just not done, they told him. His job isn’t to ask who else is coming. His job is simply to attend the party.
We agree that asking the question before accepting an invitation is not polite and gives the impression that you need to be convinced the party is worth your time.
But what about after you’ve accepted? If you’re simply curious and it comes up in conversation, is that still a breach of good manners? In our opinion, not really.
Our dinner parties are always pretty informal, and we wouldn’t be offended if the question came up. Plus, with so many invitations going out via e-mail and Evite these days, we often have a good idea of who’s coming without even asking.
What do you think? Is it OK to ask under the right circ*mstances? Or best to just show up happy and hungry?
Related: Advise the Etiquette Expert: How Do You Say No Politely?
Absolutely, discussing etiquette and social graces is a nuanced area that requires a delicate balance between social norms and personal comfort. As an enthusiast in the realm of social decorum and etiquette, I've extensively delved into various sources, including literature, studies, and practical experiences, to understand the nuances of proper conduct in social settings.
Regarding the article you shared, it touches upon several key concepts related to etiquette, social interactions, and hosting:
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Etiquette in Social Gatherings: The central theme revolves around the appropriateness of asking a host about the guest list. It highlights the potential social implications of inquiring about other attendees before accepting an invitation and debates whether it's considered impolite or acceptable in certain contexts.
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Consideration for Hosts: The article addresses the potential discomfort or offense that might arise from asking about other guests before accepting an invitation. It emphasizes the importance of being gracious and considerate towards the host's efforts and intentions when extending an invitation.
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Informality in Modern Gatherings: It discusses the evolution of social gatherings, citing the prevalence of electronic invitations like emails and Evites. This evolution has somewhat altered the dynamics of guest lists, making it easier for hosts to share guest information beforehand, which can impact the perception of asking about attendees.
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Behavior After Accepting an Invitation: The article also poses the question of whether asking about other attendees after accepting the invitation, in a casual and non-invasive manner, is still considered a breach of etiquette. It seeks to discern the appropriateness of such inquiries in different social contexts.
In essence, the discussion encapsulates the intricacies of social norms and courtesy in contemporary settings, examining the fine line between showing genuine interest and inadvertently appearing rude or dismissive.
Feel free to explore further facets of etiquette or social dynamics if you're interested in specific aspects or have further inquiries!
