Are you looking for the traits and signs that allow you to spot (and potentially avoid) a low-value man?
You have come to the right page.
By the end of it, you will know exactly what are the traits of a low-value man.
Contents
- Signs of Low-Value Men
- #1. He Has Low Emotional Intelligence (AKA: “He Doesn’t Get it”)
- #3. Big Ego (With No Matching Skills)
- #4. Doesn’t Care About Much At All
- #5. He is A Submissive Pushover
- #6. Neediness Around Women
- #8. Believes There Is Little He Can Do About Anything
- SUMMARY
This article leverages psychology to uncover what are the most telling signs of low-quality men.
#1. He Has Low Emotional Intelligence (AKA: “He Doesn’t Get it”)
Daniel Goleman says that emotional intelligence accounts for 80% of success in life.
I don’t believe much in quantifying something that is (extremely) hard to measure.
But emotional intelligence does account for a major portion of one’s life success and fulfillment.
Emotional intelligence includes:
- Self-awareness (knowledge of himself)
- Self-management (managing one’s own emotions)
- Social awareness (understanding other people’s emotions)
- Relationship management (developing positive relationships)
Emotional is what allows us to control our emotions, keep doing what we don’t want to necessarily do, and keep positive relationships.
Men with low emotional intelligence tend to show erratic behavior, jump from one thing to another, fail to accumulate resources and power, and fail to climb dominance hierarchies.
Finally, they have little social awareness.
Weinstein is certain had several traits of a high-value man: he persevered in life, he was driven, he was great at his job, he he accumulated power and riches… And yet, he failed at social intelligence -especially mating intelligence and power intelligence when he was recorded begging women for sex-.
Weinstein comes across as a slimy, disgusting individual because he has low social intelligence.
It’s not just that he never understood how to manage his reputation, but he never understood what women really want, and how to treat a woman. A man in his position, he could have gotten laid with full consent, and without being slimy. But because he didn’t know how to play the game, he was slimy and disgusting.
Low Self Awareness
Men with low self-awareness don’t know what they like, what their passions are, and what they want out of life.
They don’t follow their own path, and they always look to others for direction.
They rarely work on their own projects and instead seek work from someone else (and they’d take any sort of random, generic employment).
Low Self Management
Low self-management means they seek short-term pleasure over long-term results.
They buy whatever they like, possibly using credit. And they buy liabilities and depreciating assets that keep them poor.
Low-value men don’t realize the shortcomings which are holding them back, including an entitlement mentality not backed up by work and skills.
Look at this man, for example:
Low Social Skills
A lack of social awareness and relationship management leads to poor people skills and poor relationships.
Men with very low social skills are socially awkward, become social pariahs, and are unwanted by men and women alike.
#2. He Has No Drive & Purpose
Somebody once said:
When you don’t have a goal, you end up working for those who do have a goal.
That much is true.
And while working for someone else is NOT an indicator of low quality, taking whatever comes your way with no preference and no ambition to move forward, certainly is.
When you couple a low sex drive with no life purpose, goals, and motivation, you basically get a human plant.
Except they don’t produce oxygen.
This video of neutered Brian is an example of a man low in any kind of drive, and finding satisfaction in consumption instead of production:
This is not fat-shaming, but low-value men don’t even try to stay fit.
He Lives Vicariously
Since low-value men have no personal drive, they also have little passion and little personal success in life.
However, they might still be passionate about something and still seek to enjoy wins.
How do they do it? By living vicariously.
Low-value men are passionate about things, goals, and dreams that either add no value to their lives or that lie outside of their control.
A typical example is being so passionate about a team, as to merge one’s own ego and pride with that team.
Low-value men feel like they won when “their” teams win, or they feel great when the new song-hit of “his” favorite rapper comes out.
So they end up spending their money, time, and effort watching, commenting, and promoting other people’s lives instead of working on their own.
Or Have Lower-Quality Purposes
Some men do have their purpose, but the very nature of that purpose makes them low value.
Some examples of poor quality purposes:
- To destroy something, someone, or a group of people
- To antagonize someone, or a group of people (feminists / bitter men)
Some not-so-great purposes also include:
- Make as much money as possible
- Sleep with as many women as possible
- Provide for a low-value woman
- Do or collect quirky stuff most people don’t care about (ant farming, stamps, etc.)
#3. Big Ego (With No Matching Skills)
A big ego with skills is called co*cky.
A big ego with no skills is called delusional.
A big ego alone is not enough to condemn a man to the basem*nt of social pariahs.
A big ego with matching skills and results, for example, is what people might call arrogant (see McGregor or the “young gun” dominance style for example).
Arrogance is not a positive trait, yet it can be perversely charismatic when people around you need the strength of conviction.
The real tragedy is when a big ego is not matched by skills, competence, and results.
Then you truly get a big balloon of hot air, and people never fail to avoid those (if you wanna see an extreme example, see the YouTube videos of nobodies claiming “do you know who I am?”.
Fragile Egos & Fixed Mindset
Men with a big ego often have two more issues that keep them low-value:
- Fragile ego
Contrary to popular belief, one can have a big ego and a fragile ego at the same time.
As a matter of fact, this is a common mix of abusive men (Baumeister, 1999). They have big egos, but it’s so easy to threaten that ego, that they always need to be on the defensive not to get hurt.
And that’s why they lash out in anger, especially with their spouses. Almost anything their spouses do is a threat to their own self-worth.
- Fixed mindset
An individual has a fixed mindset when he doesn’t think he can improve.
He believes that skills and personal qualities are fixed at birth and that those skills and qualities define them.
These men then come to build their self-esteem around “being right” or “being good”.
Can you see the weakness in that?
These men always need to win and “show how good they are” in order to defend their self-image and self-esteem.
Men with a fixed mindset are low quality because they don’t develop over time, are always defensive, and tend to be touchy and vindictive.
It’s also hard having a relationship with these guys.
They can’t accept feedback, get defensive and, as Roy Baumeister explains, are more likely to be abusive.
#4. Doesn’t Care About Much At All
These days, it’s hip to say “I don’t care”.
But, most of the time, it’s a defensive mechanism to show fake superiority.
In “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck“, Manson explains that the only way not to care too much about random stuff happening in your life is to care a lot about a few things.
A low-value man doesn’t care about the very things that could make him more high-value, such as:
- What he does
- How much he makes
- How he could improve and develop
- Who are his friends are
- The health of his closest relationships
And of course, he doesn’t care much about how he looks, either.
He is cool with being overweight, having cheap and ill-fitting clothes, and in looking disheveled.
Example: The Low-Quality Apathy
Apathetic men are low-value men for many reasons.
They are boring, unexciting, contagiously depressed, and they never move forward.
The man in “The Good Girl” is a great example of a man who doesn’t care about anything:
And the fact that he thinks that a woman who disrespects her husband, complains, and is generally constantly in a bad mood is the “best woman around” is also another indicator of low quality.
#5. He is A Submissive Pushover
Nice guys rarely become top-quality men as climbing to the top requires some assertiveness and, sometimes, even the ability to be aggressive.
Still, “nice guy” by itself does not condemn a man to be a low-value man.
But excessively nice guys are low-value men.
That’s because many excessively nice guys aren’t even nice, they’re just fearful.
And they:
- Don’t enforce boundaries
- Let people disrespect them
- Allow bosses and colleagues to humiliate them
- Let their girlfriends abuse them and control the relationship
A low-value, passive man does not have the strength and courage to speak his mind.
If he is unhappy, he uses passive aggression rather than direct communication.
The movie “Fargo” presents a great example of a low-value pushover:
Notice how his excessive submissive behavior relegates him to the “pay no mind to” list.
Low-value pushovers also tend to have an exaggerated respect for authority.
They follow orders, execute meekly, and brown-nose as a life strategy: that’s what makes them feel safe and what avoids confrontations.
And yes, sometimes in life you have to execute.
But high-value people tend to execute high power instead.
#6. Neediness Around Women
Low-value men have little success with women.
They tend to develop oneitis, white-knight women, chase women or just be too fearful to even engage in any meaningful conversation with women.
Overall, they tend to have a scarcity mindset.
Giving unnaturally high attention to a woman, or seeking women who make them feel stronger can also be a sign of low value.
I remember once riding an elevator to work with a cute girl and a manager. The girl was talking to me only and was telling me she was shy and fearful of having to deliver a presentation.
The manager took over from there:
Low-value manager: (leaning deeply towards her, almost in front ofh er face, with high-pitched voice) Oohhh, you’re shy of doing the presentation?
The girl couldn’t keep a normal conversation anymore, he just wanted to focus on her fears.
This is what he was actually communicating: “you’re soooo adorable, I want to protect you, please tell me more about your fears and inadequacies so that I can feel more like a man”.
In those 5 seconds, I lost all of my respect for that guy.
When dating, low-value men either don’t play any games because they wouldn’t even know how, or they play lots of mind games because they don’t believe they are enough.
Relationship Clinginess
When it comes to relationship attachment styles low-value men are either anxious oravoidant.
Avoidants can be confused with assholes, but they are actually afraid of intimacy.
But most of all, low-value men are anxious. Anxious men crave constant intimacy and confirmation of continued commitment.
They go berserk when their partner is far away, and can turn hyper-jealous and protective in a misguided effort to “keeping her close”.
#7. Lacks Internal References: Others Control His Self-Esteem & Behavior
High-quality men value their opinion more than the opinion of some random people.
Their standards are high, and they have chosen their system of values, so they’re not gonna let any random person make them feel bad for their choices.
This is about having control of one’s own emotions, one of the basic laws of power, and not letting people take a judging role on you -see soft power-.
Low-quality men are the opposite.
They don’t value their opinion very much, they follow fads, and they let groups decide for them what’s good or bad.
And, most of all, they only feel as good as others allow them to be.
Negative feedback, a bad performance, and a disapproving look, all tank his self-confidence.
His ego is built around “being liked”, “being good” and some other inherently fragile traits.
And he relinquishes control of how he feels.
This is a common issue for many people.
To overcome it, read:
- The antifragile ego
He Follows Others People’s Rules To Gain Acceptance
Fakeness is often a byproduct of low self-esteem.
Low-value men are fake because they don’t feel that being themselves is enough.
Thus, they wear different masks, trying to cover up what they perceive are major flaws that would repel people from them, and they acquire the masks that the different social groups want them to wear.
If they end up in manosphere groups, they become caricatures and alpha male posturers.
And if they follow the widespread feminist culture, they seek external approval by virtue-signaling their fake “open-mindedness”. You know, “why are you judging that woman for drinking and sleeping around, it doesn’t mean she makes for a bad partner”. Sure not…
#8. Believes There Is Little He Can Do About Anything
The locus of control is the degree to which people believe that they have -or don’t have- control over their life.
The locus of control determines whether you feel like the man at the helm of your life or like a castaway in a rudderless lifeboat.
These are the two types of locus of control:
- Internal locus of control
- External locus of control
Internal locus of control means you believe you are in control of your life.
External locus of control means you believe random events determine the course of your life and you don’t have control over them.
Brian Tracey says that people with an external locus of control feel helpless, are sadder, get angry more easily, and are more prone to depression.
Tracey’s intuition is confirmed by psychologist Martin Seligman: people with an external locus of control are more likely to fall into “learned helplessness” after just a few failed attempts at whatever task they’re working on.
On the other hand, people with an internal locus of control are confident, energetic, and optimistic.
They even tend to be healthier!
Low-value men have an external locus of control.
Quality is not a binary value, that you either have or don’t have.
It’s a trait that sits on a spectrum, and you can always increase it.
And that’s the single biggest issue of low-quality men: they don’t seek to increase their own value.
They are not motivated to move forward in life.
Furthermore, quality is also situational, changing depending on context, and environment.
That means that all of us, sometimes, can act or think low value.
And that’s OK.
To be a high-value man, the main thing you need to do is simply to strive to be high-value, and work towards that goal.
To your continuous development,
Lucio.
