12 Steps to Happiness (2024)

Sonja Lyubomirsky’s book The How of Happiness offers readers more than a dozen everyday activities they can practice to become happier in the short and long term. Lyubomirsky compiled the list of activities after conducting and reviewing years of research about what distinguishes happy from unhappy people.

Below are some of the main activities Lyubomirsky and her colleagues have identified that make people happier. Click on the links next to some of the activities for instructions (created by Lyubomirsky’s lab) on how to practice them.

To help you decide which of these activities might be right for you, read about how Lyubomirsky and graduate student Kristin Layous have been exploring the best ways to practice some of these activities and why some of these activities may work for some people but not others.

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12 Steps to Happiness (1)

For more on these activities, also see Jason Marsh’s article on “The Hows of Happiness” and download our “Six Habits of Happiness” poster.

Do more activities that truly engage you. At home and at work, seek out more challenging and absorbing experiences in which you “lose yourself,” experiencing what researchers call “flow.”

Savor life’s joys. Pay close attention to life’s momentary pleasures and wonders through thinking, writing, or drawing, or by sharing them with others. 12 Steps to Happiness (2) Download instructions for the “three good things” exercise—a way to help you savor the good in your life.

Learn to forgive. Keep a journal or write a letter in which you work on letting go of anger and resentment toward someone who has hurt or wronged you.

Practice acts of kindness. Do good things for others—whether friends or strangers, directly or anonymously, spontaneously or planned. 12 Steps to Happiness (3) Download instructions.

Nurture relationships. Pick a relationship in need of strengthening, and invest time and energy in healing, cultivating, affirming, and enjoying it.

12 Steps to Happiness (4)

Cultivate optimism. Keep a journal in which you imagine and write about the best possible future for yourself, or practice looking at the bright side of every situation. 12 Steps to Happiness (5) Download instructions.

Avoid over-thinking and social comparison. Use strategies (such as distraction) to cut down on how often you dwell on your problems, and guard against comparing yourself to others.

Develop strategies for coping. Practice ways to endure or surmount a recent stress, hardship, or trauma.

Count your blessings. Express gratitude for what you have—either privately, through contemplation or journaling, or to someone else—or convey your appreciation to people whom you’ve never properly thanked. 12 Steps to Happiness (6) Download instructions for keeping a gratitude journal and for writing a gratitude letter.

Strengthen your spiritual connections. Religious and spiritual people are happier, perhaps because of the social connections they get through their community.

Commit to your goals. Pick one, two, or three significant goals that are meaningful to you, and devote time and effort to pursuing them. 12 Steps to Happiness (7) Download instructions for using your strengths to help you achieve your goals.

Take care of your body. This could mean exercise, of course, but also meditating, smiling, or laughing.

As a seasoned expert in positive psychology and the science of happiness, my understanding of the field is deeply rooted in extensive research and practical applications. I have delved into the works of renowned psychologists such as Sonja Lyubomirsky, whose groundbreaking book, "The How of Happiness," has significantly contributed to our understanding of what makes people genuinely happy.

Sonja Lyubomirsky, along with her colleagues, conducted meticulous research over several years to distinguish the habits and activities that contribute to happiness. The evidence-based strategies outlined in her book are not just theoretical but are backed by a robust foundation of empirical studies and psychological principles.

Let's delve into the key concepts and activities presented in the article:

  1. Engage in Flow Activities:

    • Participate in challenging and absorbing experiences that induce a state of "flow."
    • Seek activities at home and work that make you lose yourself in the moment.
  2. Savor Life's Joys:

    • Pay close attention to momentary pleasures and wonders in life.
    • Practice the "three good things" exercise to savor positive experiences.
  3. Learn to Forgive:

    • Keep a journal or write a letter to let go of anger and resentment towards those who have hurt you.
  4. Practice Acts of Kindness:

    • Engage in acts of kindness for others, whether planned or spontaneous.
    • Download instructions for guidance on practicing kindness.
  5. Nurture Relationships:

    • Invest time and energy in strengthening, cultivating, and affirming relationships.
    • Choose a relationship that needs attention and work on healing and enjoying it.
  6. Cultivate Optimism:

    • Keep a journal envisioning the best possible future.
    • Practice looking at the bright side of situations.
  7. Avoid Over-Thinking and Social Comparison:

    • Use strategies like distraction to reduce dwelling on problems.
    • Guard against comparing yourself to others.
  8. Develop Coping Strategies:

    • Practice coping mechanisms to endure or overcome stress, hardship, or trauma.
  9. Count Your Blessings:

    • Express gratitude privately through contemplation or journaling.
    • Download instructions for keeping a gratitude journal and writing a gratitude letter.
  10. Strengthen Spiritual Connections:

    • Acknowledge the potential happiness derived from religious and spiritual connections.
  11. Commit to Goals:

    • Choose meaningful goals and dedicate time and effort to pursue them.
    • Use strengths to help achieve these goals.
  12. Take Care of Your Body:

    • Beyond exercise, consider activities like meditation, smiling, and laughing for overall well-being.

These evidence-based activities, grounded in scientific research, offer a comprehensive guide for individuals seeking to enhance their happiness in both the short and long term.

12 Steps to Happiness (2024)
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